At first, I wanted to say something about a rewrite, but that's not possible. What's past has passed. What's done is over. There is no going back. What you see in the here and now, right in front of you, it's already history. See that snow outside, that happened last week. Old news. Every post on social media. Also old news. Even if I decide to share this post, it will be history. I am not a product of my past. I'm not a product of my environment. I am not a product of your imagination. I am the product of what I choose from one second to the next.
Even if I look out the window, and see a cloud formed over the woods that looks like an outstretched hand, I can't grab my camera and get to the door fast enough to take a picture to prove it. ALL I can do is appreciate what I saw, and maybe know that it was just a sign for me. Could have meant, "Whatever ..." could have meant, "Grab my hand ..." Could have meant, "Look at this ..." Could have meant a million things, or it could have just distracted me long enough so I didn't focus on some negative that doesn't need to be spoken.
See, I got distracted again. The moment's gone. I did just hear a quote from Tim Ferriss: "You can't outwork your mouth." WHAT? It was in relation to weight loss, but it applies to EV-UH-REE-THING! You can have all the opportunities in the world, but if your mouth is running in a negative direction, all those opportunities are going to pass you by. How do I know? I've done it to myself over, and over, and over again, which brings me to another thought - quitting is not necessarily a negative.
There are hundreds of thousands (that MAY be an exaggeration), okay, hundreds (that sounds more reasonable) of things that the quitting of will cause vast improvements in your being. Quitting sugar will lower your blood sugar, your scale results, and even improve your mental mood/energy. Quitting watching the news will elevate your mood, and lower your blood pressure simultaneously. Quitting constant negative input, be it from your own brain, or from the world, at large, via the internets will open you up to things you never imagined possible.
Something I've learned over the past year or so is that when I quit focusing on what IS, or what HAS BEEN, I experienced a lot of things falling into place that never did before because I was too busy getting in my own way. What you focus on is what you get, without fail. When I focused on the negatives, re. money, weight, love, family, etc. I just got more of that which I was focusing on, which wasn't much by way of positive outcomes.
Not everything has fallen into place, and some things have even gone backwards, like my weight, but I am no longer worrying about it. I have moved the scale out of my line of sight. Maybe once a week, I look but other than that, I've developed a more finessed Fuquitol attitude. It will happen when I'm ready to let it happen, and until then, there are better things to think about, like this:
I can't even tell you how many years I disallowed myself from daydreaming, from trying to write any story other than reality. I am not doing that anymore. I'm finding the things that serve me, that make me happy, bring me joy, or at the very least distract me from the things that bring me negative outcomes. I'm not here to rehash my past, unless it's about some memory of some beautiful, excellent, or otherwise happy event.
We get exactly what we think about, whether we want it or not. I have proven this to myself too many times to count. There's another witty quote out there, author currently known, that goes something like, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right." I'm done thinking about all the things that I can't do ...