What better day to start something than Halloween? Whilst everyone else was pretending that it happened on Saturday, I was busy getting ready to start over for the 453rd time. Mentally, anyway. Today, I've spent a lot of time listening to an audio rendition of the 12 Week Year book ...
I had never heard of this book until I watched a video on The Tube of Yous, where this person was giving her tips for how to implement the steps in this book, yada-yada-bla-bla-blahbity-blah. Anywhoooo, I gave it a listen, and I have to say it contains a lot more common-sensical, logical thoughts than I thought it would. I think the main gist is just decreasing the amount of time you have to plan, execute, and achieve whatever it is you want to focus on. In other words, get yourself together and don't drag it out for 12 months. Get schtuff done in 12 weeks.
Why am I talking about this here? Because I am returning to keto tomorrow, and I want to be successful this time, and stick with it for probably the majority of the rest of my time here on this planet. After taking a couple years off to, you know, just do normal stupid human tricks, and then winding up with a preliminary diagnosis of that Type 2 Di-uh-beet-us BS, and then doing some also preliminary steps to get rid of that disease, I've learned a lot about myself.
Some of the more prevalent discoveries:
- Carbs are most definitely not my friend, especially all the carbage
- Sugar = high levels of depression, and artificial sweeteners don't help it either
- I eat junk to curtail feelings of stress, anxiety, loneliness, and pain, and also when I just say "Fuquitol" because I feel like there's no point in trying.
- When I eat keto, I have no overwhelming urge to eat junk, or even snack on anything
- When I follow keto, my health improves
- When I follow keto, my mood improves
- When I eat carbs, I ache, and I HURT. Randomly, in various locations, or all over.
- When I eat carbs, the mood tanks
Something else rather profound that I have learned is that nobody is going to do this for me, or even with me. If I want to feel better, look better, and improve my health, it's all on me. Doesn't matter what anyone else is doing.
Because I always start things in earnest on Mondays, I will create my plan of attack, and outline it here tomorrow. I just wanted to get my initial thoughts down on the digital screen. I kind of wish I had not deleted the first Gut Reaction blog. I was at a point where I was giving up, and thinking nothing really mattered, so I deleted all of it.
I have a lot of ideas about where I want to go with all of this, but the main goal at the moment is to have a place that I can track my progress, and record the goings on of returning to keto. My focus has changed, and the obsession to lose weight is gone.
Yes, I still weigh myself daily, but I also know that it's not the be-all-end-all, and it's not what defines whether I have a good day or not. I know very well that if I eat dinner at a Mexican restaurant there will be consequences, and I'm fine with dealing with those consequences because I know the results when I go BACK to eating what I know I should.
I have no doubt that I will occasionally eat something that's not at all keto-legal. Life happens. I also know that I am done with talk, and the circle-running-around-in. I don't care if 1000 people know it, a million, or 2. I'm just done with the BS, and I'm ready to start taking care of me, and ready to make myself happy.
I have put myself on hold for far too long. I watch people. I watch what they do. I listen to what they say. I see the difference between the ones who live life, and do what makes them happy and the ones who don't. I'm at a point in life where I want to be happy, no matter how old or not-modelesque I am. I no longer care. I just want to be healthy, and I don't want to spend my old-age years doing all the old-age BS like taking 500 pills a day, and spending all my time going to and listening to doctor, after doctor, after doctor. I just don't. That is not a well-rounded life, in my humble opinion.
With that, I'm off to start planning tomorrow. I'm so ready.