Winter-Spring - What is ACTUALLY Going on?

I did that!

It was a long week. Lots of work stuff. Lots of good stuff. And, I can safely say that I'm good on ribs for probably at least the next 10 years. I probably only et them about every five years to begin with, so Saturday's lunch AND dinner (leftovers) did me in. 

As you can see, I got the test-drive unit of my Zazzle mug, and I can honestly tell you, I am IMPRESSED with the quality. Sometimes, you buy a mug online, and it's cheap, flimsy, and won't last. This puppy is 550 ml (nearly 19 floz) empty, and holds a SUBSTANTIAL amount of the java stuffs! Not to mention, the print is securely "baked" in - unlike some where you can feel it, this is PART of the mug. Colors are fairly true to what you see on the store listing here: 

Test version - store listing

You have to ignore my camera shot. I have shitty lighting, and a mucked up phone, which gives it that "orangey" glow, but as I sit here actually LOOKING at it, and using it, it's closer to the store image in hue. 

I did change the layout of the image though because I was not really happy with how the dark parts showed up in their interpretation, so I eliminated those, and kept more of the brighter tones, so now, it looks like this: 

And you can get a better view here

In other news, I have found that it's best, when packing/decluttering to put that shit in a bag/box/etc. and then DO NOT (I repeat: DO. NOT.) look at it again. It will only make you think, "OH, I can keep that for a bit longer ..." NO. Don't do it. Just box it, drive it to the donation place of your choosing, hand it over, and then walk away - quickly! 

I have a few things that I will keep for quite a while yet, like the Vogue issues with Nicole Kidman, Adele, and I'd swear I have one with Sarah Jessica Parker, but I can't find it at the moment, but I'm almost ready to part with the People Remembering Michael issue, and most of my yarn/crochet/lace mags, like Vogue Knitting, etc. I'm also parting with a magical metric fuckton of books. 

The goal is kind of to leave here with only SOME clothes, maybe a box of keepsakey things, art, and essentials. I do NOT want to move my clutter with me wherever I go. Learned that from my mother, who was a closet hoarder, literally. Still is, just in a smaller living space. 

One thing about this home, when we sell it, there will be STORAGE for YEARS ... There are cabinets upon cabinets - built in cabinets, closets with shelving up to the ceiling, built in dressers, and even a whole "wing" that used to be a beauty shop that could be anything from storage to a business to even a "mother-in-law" suite or just apartment for renting. There is SO much potential here, and I'm looking forward to seeing someone get it that will truly appreciate and utilize all of this to its fullest potential! 

Well, that went off on a tangent. 

The weather outside is more than frightful. It's almost MAY and it's still late winter here in Ohellio. What the fuck? What kind of sick joke is this? I think it's just the Universe giving us even more motivation to go west. If it were nice and warm out, we might be inclined to just sit on the deck, and enjoy the spring/summer greenery and environs a bit longer. MIGHT being the key word. 

As for me, I had a bit of a microbender Saturday and Sunday, complete with some clearance Easter chocklitz, some crunchy, salty snax, and the like. I didn't go overboard on bread/carbs, but I sure hit that sugar hard. It's all good. Today is a new day. 

Did some food prep yesterday. My beloved made the oven-roasted veggebles, bacon, and made some rice from a new box mix he wanted to try (it was a fail, though. Yuck), and I made broccoli salad, cauli mash, and some Al Fresco Sun-dried Tomato chicken sausage and broccoli, and remembered to get the birria chicken out of the freezer for this week's lunches. 

My plan is chicken salad for lunch, and yogurt with fruit for dinner, coffee and water. If I want to snack at night, it will be celery and peanut butter or sunflower seed butter. 

I'm actually cutting back on the fat by NOT making my own ranch dressing, and making a salsa ranch with Hidden Valley and some Herdez Salsa Casera, which is, OH.M.GEE, the best "canned" salsa I have ever encountered. It's the closest I've found to getting salsa at Agave. The perfect blend of heat, tomates, salt, and sweet. NO huge vinegary component to be found like in the Tostitos, or Ortega, or those other commercial brands. 

I'm not tracking on the weekends. Nope. There is not any one person who hath time for that shite. Tracking weekdays is enough. 

Current weight after microbender: 208.4

As for creativity this week, I spent some time last night learning about how to make wrapping paper, and I have some more to learn about creating seamless patterns, so I may try that this week, and I also want to do some more with my floral designs. I like things like these: 

But I've only just scratched the surface, and in observing other designs, I know there's a lot more I can do, and GOOD LORD, even if you don't like my stuff, I highly recommend checking out the other designs and products on Zazzle. They are ALWAYS running sales, either in individual stores, or on the site, overall. 

I have to say I'm really excited about the Zazzle thing even more than just doing T-shirts because there are so many ways to make art. I don't want to spend the rest of my existence on this planet withering away, so doing art things is the way to go for me. The wheels, they are a turnin'! 

With that, Happy Monday! Hope you have a great week! 

 

Flower Not-Child

Way overexposed-oversaturated-overpixelated center of a pale pink dahlia. Not art.

So, I've spent this week reviving my floral art on Zazzle. And working. Always. However, I have learned to turn off work, and just let what I got done in a day be what I got done. Not trying to work right up til bedtime anymore. 

Also went out a couple times, exploring the back howevermany acres that aren't ours ... Just walking through the barren fields (of fucks) before all the corn/beans/etc. overtake them.

All the way back there by those far trees, that's where we went - sans the snow or moonlight, that is.

So many deer tracks. My husband brought up a good point: "Good thing there wasn't a coyote den back there ..." I don't think it's dense enough there, but you never do know. It's only like a bunch of right angles, with a single row of trees going east, and another going south, then farther back, another going west. Who knows? 

I just know that I'm enjoying the creativity I've found again, Maybe it's like a seven-nine year itch I get to do something other than just work-work. Last time, I took up drawing: 

c. 2016 One of the few things my dad ever truly liked that I did

I'm exponentially better at still objects than I am at drawing human forms. It was a cathartic practice, but it was also very hard on the back and eyes because I was always curled over the paper, glasses off, squinting. Same reason I don't do calligraphy any longer. Now I just get off on watching other people do it on Instagram. It's fascinating to me. 

Meanwhile, I have a LOT to learn about digital artmaking. It'll take me a hot minute, but this time around, I don't think I will let it lapse. I did a pretty good run back in the day selling stamps and such, but those got discontinued, and I got distracted, and started doing other stuff. Quelle surprise!? 

Anywho, if you want to see the stuffs, you can go here (click that banner ^^^). I'm trying not to be obnoxious (HA) but if I start oversharing, you'll know that I'm just really excited about whatever it is I made that I shared. If you like stuff, please do share on your socials. It will help me and also I will appreciate your vote of confidence! 

I don't have socials for the store, yet. I have done so with Radish Studio, which you can find here: 

This is the TeeSpring, now Spring store. T-shirts, hoodies, stickers, notebooks, and more. If you see things you like here, feel free to share those, too (click the image ^^^^). Your support is phenomenal, no matter what, because if you're here reading this, I am beyond fortunate and grateful! 

In other news, not much going on. Staying on track for the most part. Only a few diet pops here and there. Cutting back on fat, and calories to see if it affects my afternoon sluggishness, and mostly, it has. Started taking choline again because it's supposed to help curb blood sugar, and taking the vitamin Ds again, too, to combat the blues, and maybe provide more energy, and get my low levels back up. 

Today's stats: 

Weight: 206.8

Blood sugar: 108

Ate the usual chicken salad for lunch, and the meal-prepped chicken sausage, broccoli and cauli mash for dinner, water with Jamaica and Key lime juice, and coffee. I have learned that when I snack, I do so out of boredom, and having to sit still and do nothing. If I'm going to watch TV in the evening, I need to break out the yarn again. 

Oh, speaking of which, you'd be so proud of me. I disposed of much gross yarn that was either old, ugly, or both, and added two more bags of good yarn for delivery to Goodwill, along with some other odds, and ends. Boxed up some books and magazines, which someday I will deliver to Half Price, so I can make all of about probably $20, IF I don't get adventurous and try to sell them. Let's be realistic, I won't. I just want them gone. I'm letting go, and moving forward, and getting rid of a lot of the dead weight. 

One thing I learned from dad's passing: Just let it go. It's not worth it to drag the baggage around. 

I think that's enough for now. Happy Thursday, almost Friday :) 

New Week, New Me?

 No. But it IS a new week, so I always have the chance to be a different me. 

A version of me with the most expensive makeup I've ever owned. It's still me. 

I do need to make it a daily practice of writing SOMETHING. Maybe it will be useless words, or maybe it will be something relevant. We'll never know until I do it. 

I listened to something this morning, and now I'm re-listening because there was a lot in there that hits home: 

In other news, I think I kicked some major food-prep ass yesterday, and have most all of my meals made, along with his evening meals, etc. Here's what I (we) got done in approximately 2.5-3 hours yesterday (the condensed non-step-by-step version: 

• He grilled his chicken boobs and turkey burgers 
• I cut/cleaned celery (and promptly forgot to put some in his lunch pail today) 
• Prepped vegetables for salads and roasting 
• Prepped frozen cauliflower for cauli mash (nuked for five minutes, then dried on low heat in skillet) 
• Made a pan of roasted veggies (broccoli, asparagii, mini peppers, onions, zukes, yellow squish, fresh thyme, olive oil, minced garlic) 
• Pre-boiled broccoli for the roasted veggies, broccoli salad, and my meals in three batches because I was trying to weigh/measure everything for my tracking and making recipes for Cronometer
• Cooked a package of bacon (for me, for broccoli salad) 
• Made caprese salad (cut up two pints of grape tomatoes, fresh basil, sliced red onions, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt and cracked black pepper) 
• Made broccoli salad (broccoli chopped into tiny florets, an individual box of raisins, sunflower seeds, bacon, chopped red onion, and dressing [mayo, apple cider vinegar, stevia, dash of smoked paprika] 
• Made cilantro lime rice (out of a box) for his lunches 
• Made cauli mash (cauliflower, homemade Boursin cheese that I mentioned last week, I think, salt, pepper, Knorr chicken bouillon powder, butter, heavy cream) 
• Cut up Al Fresco Mild Italian Chicken Sausage, and sauteed that and the broccoli for my meals
• Made a new batch of Jamaica for my water
• Made the Elote corn for my chicken salads
• Remembered to get my birria chicken out of the freezer and defrost it properly (miss you, Alan)    

All in all, it was an excellent weekend. I am quite proud that I did not fall off the wagon for more than a minute here or there. We ate at a place called Ziffle's Rib Bar for lunch on Saturday. I had a gigantic bbq chicken salad, some bites of his ribs (I CANNOT EVEN ... They were heaven) and a few fries. Had a few diet pops here and there. I did buy a bag of Elote Corn Cheetos. I ate about 12, before I threw them away. They were disgusting.

Yesterday, can't remember what I had for lunch. No, I had a chicken salad (the usual one, but with a grilled chicken breast), then my beloved tried something new for dinner. It didn't quite work out, so we went for Plan B, and I had some yogurt and berries, and some pecans. 

Ohio has decided to go back to Winter for whatthefuckeverreason ... Holy FUCK it's cold. 

I did learn, last week, that I've been eating far too much protein and fat for my lunches, so Friday, I cut way back, and had a different salad, and the results were obvious. So, I'm going to cut down on the amount of chicken I add to the birria salads, and also cut back on the dressing, and hopefully, I will not feel like complete ass every day after lunch. 

I was tickled to discover that I actually LOST weight this weekend instead of finding it again. 

Current stats: 

Weight: 207.8

Blood sugar: 112 (a bit earlier this morning) 

I have many many things to do today, workwise, so I'd better get to it. 

Happy Monday, happy week! 

Things Not to Try Again

 

Oh look, another chicken salad ... 

I'm thinking I really need to measure out the chicken. I just eyeballed it yesterday, and good LORD was I tired after I finished. Probably somewhere between 3.5-4 ounces of the chicken would be sufficient. My eyeballs are not scales, so who knows how much chicken I actually put in there. It was still good though. 

Dare I say, of course, now that I have at least 10 more servings of birria chicken, that I'm seeing the end of the road with regards to my current "Southwest Chicken Salad" for lack of a better term. 

At least it was filling. I did not eat again til about 8:00 pm. Then, because I didn't learn about weighing out the foods, I made an ENORMOUS bowl of Greek yogurt with not a few, but rather TOO many fresh berries, and some peaches, along with the standard hemp hearts, chia seeds, and crushed pecans. It was rather spectacular in flavor. I might have been fine, had I not finally made and tried that Boursin-cheese-replica recipe ... I had some of those parmesan crackers for dipping: 

Not only did I add far too much garlic, it was just one of the richest things I've eaten in a long while, and my gut fought back. So, yeah ... No. I'm thinking I will use it for either a sauce or just bake it on top of chicken boobage, or possibly use some of it to make cauliflower mash. Gotta temper it with some logical REAL food. I didn't take a picture because I just shoved it in a plastic container, but it looks pretty much like the recipe picture did, here.

That all being said, I still PROBABLY came in at significantly less calories for the day because I was too miserable to eat more than a handful of Elote almonds later. 

Today, I track, and see what happens. 

Happy to report that I am fully recovered from the weekend's poor choices, and back down below 210. 

Nettie and I enjoyed a long walk around the estate. It was gloriously warm, and only moderately windy. The sun was out, the birds were out. It was a great afternoon. 

All kinds of things were odd yesterday, but everything still worked out. 

I really don't have a lot to talk about. Got a lot of work to do today, so I should probably get to it. 

Have an excellent day! 

A Winged Eye, Some Birria Chicken, and Some Words

There is no more adorable face than that of a Nettie attempting to scan treats. 

"Please, madam, may I have some more?"

The first cardinal made his glorious entrance to the backyard confines yesterday. They have such a beautiful song. He was magnificent in all his red glory. 

I did quite a bit yesterday by way of the food preps, as mentioned yesterday. I still have things to do today, but I'm fairly proud of myself for making another batch of "birria" chicken, and THEN portioning it out into 4-ish ounce servings for freezing. I've got enough for eight salads, or meals. I'm freezing it whole because I think if I shred it, it will become dry and rubbery, and that I do not want. 

I also ordered some of these: 

to test out for lunches and storage of a more organized manner. So far, I kind of dig them. I also dig that even out here in the styx, we can get same-day delivery of items. Yay. We are now part of civilization! 

I also (because Amazon tricked me) ordered this: 

Since it's highly invisible in the picture: Maybelline Hyper Easy Liquid Pen No-Skip Eyeliner, Satin Finish, Waterproof Formula, Eye Liner Makeup, Pitch Black

LET ME TELL YOU ... This might be the best less than $8 I ever spent on anything. I can't speak to the waterproofness, but that claim of "no skipping"? WOW!  Even my E.L.F. liquid liner can't compete, and typically when there's a hardish brush on the end, it goes everywhere but where I want it to. This? It took me less than two minutes to create TWO beautifully lined, winged eyes. LESS THAN TWO MINUTES. Are you fucking kidding me? That's insane! I may have to buy more in case they decide to stop making them! I have never felt this way about a cosmetic product. Ever. 

I also got some new readers because clearly I got contact lenses only for vanity's sake. I cannot see for SHIT near up in those things, so when I go out or to the store, I need visual assistance, and both of my favorite pairs have recently broken, and unfortunately, I cannot remember where I got them. I found a three-pack for a little more than you'd pay for one pair at Meijer or even Dollar General. Bonus. 

3 Pack Reading Glasses Spring Hinge Stylish Readers Black/Tortoise

I actually have a pair of actual glasses like the bottom ones. I should just go get new lenses put in those and get them refitted. I really like them. I think it was the first pair I ever bought online, from Coastal. 

Sorry just took a long pause down memory lane by way of OneDrive, and got lost in all the pictures :) 

Anywhoooooooooooooooooo, that's been my excitement. 

Back on the better-eating train since yesterday. It wasn't so bad. The damage is mostly undone, and I can resume normal thinking patterns. 

If you are bored, feel free to go peruse my store: 

bit.ly/RadIshStudio

Let me know what you think! 

How to Holiday

 

Source

I'm not the religious type, so this holiday holds no particular meaning for me, except memories of being forced to awaken at 4:00 am every Easter Sunday in order to get ready to go to the annual Sunrise Service in our most formal Sunday Best. The full morning from before breakfast til nearly lunch was a bit much. 

If you're religious, go you. You do you. I do me. We're all happy in our collective bubbles. This is NOT about religion. 

I suck at holidaying. I could make different choices, but I don't. I do what I do to get through uncomfortable or sad situations and THEN I move forward. Plus, the one or two times a year that I get to partake of my sister-in-law-ish's homemade mac'n'cheese is not something I'm readily willing or able to give up. Nope. 

It was a really good weekend. Relaxing. Not a lot of stress or anxiety. Just being. We started watching Frasier again, from the beginning, so it's been nice to watch something that brings joy rather than misery. 

There's not a lot to talk about, except maybe preparation is going to be the key. I did about half the food prep I needed to do yesterday before we left to go to my brother's. I threw some chicken in the slow cooker the night before for my salads, so I shredded that up. I parboiled some broccoli for broccoli salad and to add to vegetables for roasting. I washed and cleaned berries (straw, black and rasp varietals) for my yogurt. Today, I've got to make salad (I put baby spinach, artisan red and curly lettuces, romain, red cabbage and carrot shreds. 

Pro tip: Always, always, ALWAYS wash your greens. ALL of them. I don't care if they say they've been washed already or not, WASH them again! Trust me. Just wash them. 

I also need to roast the vegetations, make a new batch of salad dressing, and maybe THIS WEEK, boil some eggs for making deviled eggs, or just adding more protein to the salad. Though, a chicken and egg salad does NOT sound that appetizing, so probably not. 

I'm going for cleaner eating this week. 

I had Halo Top the other night because I just did, and the results were less than spectacular. It doesn't make me feel good. It's full of bullshitty chemicals that just are not necessary for the human body to function, and it just doesn't taste GOOD enough to warrant all that BS. At least it wasn't a Reese's Fast Break candybar, though, so that's a bonus ... Maybe. 

I just want less chemical and more whole food. My dump ranch dressing is fairly unprocessed (olive oil, apple cider vinegar, an egg, some coconut cream, almond milk, and an assortment of herbs/spices). Salad, also full of whole foods. The chicken is my take on a birria recipe that I saw on YouTube. I think it was this one: 

I use the slow cooker, and with every batch I freeze the remaining "consommé" and use it for the next batch. Saves time and ingredients, and probably is wrong on so many levels, but it works for me. This is also fairly unprocessed - Guajillo Chiles, onion, garlic, and just a sprinkle of chicken bouillon and other spices, and some bay leaves. 

I'm also swapping out the no-sugar-added peaches for the lower-sugar berries this week, just to see what happens. 

Finally, cut out the pork rinds and chip dip this week. If I need nibblage in the evening, it's going to be celery and either a "Boursin" cheese dip or peanut butter. That's the other thing I need to make!! I forgot. 

So, yeah, today: 

• Roast vegetables 
• Cut/clean salad
• Finish broccoli salad 
• Make Caprese salad  
• Make dressing
• Boil eggs 
• Make cheese recipe 

I just heard this again ... "A belief is just a thought you keep thinking." Good reminder. If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you can't. No, it's not easy to change your beliefs, but it is 1000% doable. I've done it before. Sometimes, it takes decades. Other times, it takes five minutes. The key is YOU. And me. 

I'm not beating myself up about the weekend eating soiree. It was what it was. Today is a new day. 

That's good for now. 

Oh, and if I haven't mentioned it (I am being cheeky, I have mentioned it), check out my store. I have things like this:

 Rad-Ish Studio

And if you're really bored, you can follow my store on Instagram, here: https://www.instagram.com/rad.ish.studio/

I want to set up a page on Facebook, but I'll get around to that later. 

:) 

Happy Week! 

Walk on Home ...

 In 2013, it was warm enough that we had these on the sixth day of April: 

Today, some 10 years later, we ain't got shite for flowers. Some of the greens have exploded, but the buds have yet to unfurl, and due to a wayward, and very misguided "gardener" hired by my father-in-law, we also have close to ZERO lilacs left, of the white or purple-y varietals. 

I think I will plant some herbs outside the window, maybe. Depending upon whether we decide to make any improvements to the homestead or not. Dahlias would be lovely, too. I just don't know. I'm so torn. 

In other news, today, we've got clouds and a bit of sun, and still a chill in the air. I just would like to spend much more time outside and get Nettie out of her Bark-a-lounger and into the warmth and fresh air. 

Still doing good with the eating. I did notice that if I do NOT consume enough protein, I will get hungrier much earlier in the afternoon. Such was the case yesterday, so I ate an early dinner of this: 

and some pork rinds and chip dip, of which I had too many, and then got TOO full. Can't win. 

My one issue is that I am eating too late in the evening, by way of snacking in front of the television. That needs to stop. It really does. I'll figure it out, but for now, just eating better things and working on the brainspace. 

As for stats and metrics, here's the scoop: 

Weight: 209.6 

Blood glucose: 107 

Not too shabby. Feeling decent. Getting sleep. Apart from the adulting anxiety with the house, everything is good. 

Got another slew of designs made for posting on TeeSpring. Did some brainstorming for new ideas, and have those organized and ready to create. I am thoroughly enjoying this. It's very cathartic, and though it may take a hot month or year to sell anything, I don't care because at least I am putting my creativity into something that could potentially cause smiles and joy and it causes me smiles. That's what counts. 

Just a Gust of Nothing

Just a double rainbow. Not even from today. 

What was supposed to be a significant and severe round of storms today seems to have fizzled. Protective Bubble: 1; Storms: 0. Here's to hoping it fizzles out everywhere. 

In other news, not much going on. I've had a lot of anxiety about the house and what to do with it. Part of me wants to completely "reno" it as the kids say now, but the other part of me says just clean it up, pack up, and move. 

I'm also looking forward to some NON-windy days and sunshine so I can get some natural vitamin D and fresh air. 

I'm on Day 3 of Try #5768 to Take Better Care of Myself. Everything is good. Using the Cronometer again today. I kind of really like it, and wondering how much better the paid version would be. We'll see. I like that most of the foods I eat (the processed ones) are already in there, so I don't have to spend another lifetime entering nutrition labels. That was an unholy time suck that I never loved about Fitday. 

Really not a lot to talk about today. Just watched the storms roll through this morning, and now it seems to be over. Fed the boids. Got the window open. Now it's time to get some work done. 

Not going to get super-excited but morning weigh-in was 209.8. However, by lunch time, I was at 10.6. Either way, I'll take it. That's better than 214.8. Oh, and the blood sugar, yesterday, was at 112. Today, before lunch, it was at 102. 

If I can just stay focused, live life, and do the best I can, that's all that really matters. 

Out (and About) Like a Light

What a spectacular spring day it was yesterday. Sun. Blue Skies. Singing Birds. Power outages. It took that last one to get me out of the house and moving, even if for only 5-10 minutes. Still, it was movement. 

I discovered, after lunch, much to my complete disdain, that the food tracker I've been using for centuries hath vanished. This is what happens when you don't visit on the regular. Last I was there was back in early Winter before all the morbid goings on. I would swear they never did an email blast to notify users of their demise either. What the fuck? O well.

So, NOW, I am trying Cronometer. I have used MyFitnessPal in the past, but I really don't like it at all. So far, it's been a fairly smooth experience, learning curve excluded. I don't know that I will use it on the regular, but at least there is SOMETHING. 

Eating wasn't too terrible. Had this for lunch: 

and this for dinner: 

And, of course, still with those damnable Elote Mexican Street Corn almonds. And then a few pork rinds and some chip dip later in the evening. 

It's a marathon, not a sprint. Back to breaking the habits that don't lead me to where I want to go. 

Took Nettie on a walk at the cemetery. Didn't appear that there was a lot of damage from Friday's storms, which is good. I forgot to take water for her though, so it was a very brief stint. Long enough for her to inspect her surrounds and get some fresh air and non-sunlight, since by then, it was cloudy again. She also enjoys a ride in the car, so it was a good outing. 

I also got myself a Spirograph because memories, you know ... I still suck at it. That's what you do when the power is out and you're trying to conserve battery life on the devices. It was very relaxing though, so there's that. 

I just had a wandering thought ... 

I tried to make THIS the other day as a design for a shirt: 

But when I looked at the mock-up, it DID not translate. I'm wondering, since I downloaded it, and it stayed intact, what if I upload THIS, sans all the 5 million layers? Will it then keep the fading? I shall see. Not that THIS would be the final masterpiece, but something in this vein, perhaps. Maybe a bit of color? I like simple groupings of words that mean big things. 

I know there's all this rage about using AI to do art, and I have tried it (at least on the OpenAI Dall-E thing), but it's far from spectacular. However, I did get one or two that I want to use (elephants, and such) and one that I AM using in a design (a pile of yarn). That all being said, I want to either achieve Photoshoppe, or there's another "free" version, called Photopea, I think. I used to have so much fun just playing around with Photoshop back when my son was in school, and they gave them a free version for art class. I miss that. I miss being able to make art with my own pictures. I like, nay, I LOVE making art. It brings me joy. 

Today is about work. The outage yesterday threw a large wrench in my flow, so once it was back on, I just didn't really get back into it. I think I'll take Nettie out for a walk around the estate this morning before she gets settled into her daily routine of sleep all dayness. We both need to move. 

Then, I'll get going on the work stuff. My boss said the sweetest thing yesterday: "You're on top of your shit." When it comes to work, I AM. Mostly :) 

It's just a warm fuzzy feeling when you realize that someone notices that you do good work. 

With that, off I go. Have a good day. 

Oh, and just for progress sake, here's where I was yesterday: 

214.8

Here's where I'm at, upon waking: 

212.8 

Also, fully intend to remember to check the blood sugar at some point before eating. I haven't quite figured out when it spikes due to fasting, but whatever. 10am will be 12 hours, if I DO NOT nibble on stuff whilst making the Beloved's lunchables. Also, whatever. I'm not purposely doing anything but trying to be better at what I ingest. That's enough for now. 

Like a Rolling, Wobbly, Stone ...

 So, I took a non-oath of silence and just stopped writing. One day, in February, apparently, I just got sick of talking. We've just been living life here on the Waltenburg Ranch. I've been trying different approaches to be a better me. None of them really stick for more than a week or three. Whatever. 

The Westward Migration becomes more and more real each day. We've been cleaning out the closets, the drawers, and donating a magical metric fuqueton of items to the Goodwill place. Someone, somewhere can make better use of those things than we did. They were just taking up closet real estate. 

It's kind of fucked up to think that it's now been over four months since Dad took his leave, and to be quite honest, it doesn't really feel any different. Sad truth. It was what it was, and it is what it is. No signs from the great beyond. I never thought there would be. I realized, after this showed up in my OneDrive memories: 

That this is one of the few photographs of him (on the right) WILLINGLY smiling. He was a very stoic, very unemoting person. My uncle (on the left) is the polar opposite. I wish he had ever been that carefree and playful in the role of my dad. This is a man I never knew. 

Anywhoooooooooooooooo, back to reality ... We have 99.52% decided to "flip" our own house. I cannot fathom having spent nearly 20 years here and just walking away. I want to leave it better than we found it and we have worked far too long, too hard, and too many hours to not at least try to make it something special for the next residents. 

That being said, we got the roof and fence fixed last week, just in time for a HUFUCKINGMONGOUS storm to pass through Friday night, complete with tornados, to test out the durability of the repairs. Thankfully, the roof, and the rest of the property remains intact. It was questionable. We are very fortunate. I believe this house is built like a brick shithouse, and it won't go anywhere for a very, very long time. The ol' abode's got good bones. (I don't see this house as gender specific, really) 

We did an old-folks kind of thing yesterday and went out driving around to surveil the tornado and storm damages because that's what you do in Ohio on a Sunday. It was quite nauseating. We didn't even have to drive off the normal beaten path to see it. This place used to have a complete and huge roof: 

I can't fathom how it took JUST the roof, but left everything else intact, and yet just up the road, it completely flattened an entire old barn. 

I can also say that I have NEVER seen long pieces of metal siding woven through the tops of trees like so much yarn or fabric ... What the holy fuck? It all seemed so very random, like it touched down, went back up, touched down here, went back up ... Just weird. 

So many places that we see every time we drive up to Fort Wayne that are just gone now. So many chances to be thankful that we are safe and sound. 

We now take intermission for me to show you this: 

Fish belly. Adorable. 

I've been exploring my right brain for a while now. Perhaps about a month? It looks something like this: 

Rad-Ish Studio

I needed a thing to do. I needed to learn to do something new. So I did. I'm still working on it, as much as possible. Learning as much as possible. Someday, I'll share more about it, but for now, feel free to go look. Also, I'm obsessed with the color of fresh radishes (the kinds with their tops still intact). That was my favorite part of setting the produce floor - making sure all that glorious color was visible. 

I've been learning how to use all the digital design tools again, like Canva, and all the other components that go into this type of thing. It's exciting! 

As for me, I'm pretty much back to where I started before I began that 12-week-year thing last year. Today is a new day. I spent yesterday doing food prep of all kinds. Made some shredded chicken, some caprese salad, some broccoli salad, some regular lettuce salad ... Cut up some celery. I just realized I forgot to boil some eggs, and make dressing. I've got enough food made, though, to keep me fed. 

I think I need to write again, just to keep myself honest, and stick with it. So, if you're bored, you'll have something to read most every day. Not following any sort of strict plan, just mostly low-carb/keto-ish and getting my shit back together. I've been just winging it, and the weight has slowly but surely came back for a visit. 

Time to regroup and change the brain set. There just comes a time when you get sick of how you feel, and you do something, instead of just waiting for it to change whilst doing the same thing over, and over. Today is that day. 

That's kind of why I made this the other day: 

    Words of truth

I think that's it for now. 

It is a NEW DAY.