On the Other Side of Starting

 

We have lift off ... Some eight days ago, I came back to keto living. If you missed the gory details, go here. It was a pretty great week. All in all, I misplaced nearly five pounds, at mostly keto, with a few higher carb days in there just for good measure, and kept my head above water. 

The more time you spend focusing on where you want to be, as opposed to constantly wallowing in the mire of now, the better it gets. Everything is good. Everything is working out. 

It was nice to eat foods that I know will get me to where I am going. It is good to let go of what I know ails me. It was especially good to get back to the gym, and actually move. There is no pressure. I'm not trying to win any awards, become a bodybuilding contestant, or be like anyone else. I just wanted to move for the sheer joy of moving, and feel the energy that come from it, afterward. That afterglow, if you will.  

While it was all unstructured, and kind of a refresher course, this week, I'm adding in a bit more structure, so I can remind all my assorted muscles where they were back nearly a year ago. I use an app called Jefit, which is fairly spiffy because it allows you to create your own routines, or use any in their giganormous database, and there are specific directions for each exercise. Plus, the free version is pretty robust for being free, so I thoroughly enjoy that!  

I'm working on my brain game now. I've tried a few times to meditate, rather sporadically, and mostly unsuccessfully, but today, I actually completed 15 minutes, and did not fall asleep or constantly battle myself to focus on the music. I don't know what will happen with it, but I can't fathom it being a bad thing to shut out all thoughts, and just relax for a few minutes, and get to know myself a bit better from a silent angle. 

I discovered some things to avoid, things that make me not feel so great - mentally, or physically - such as taking measurements, or eating super-rich, super-high-fat meals. I haven't tracked food since day one. 

A few things that I know I will get better at: 

• Drinking water
• Eating more vegetables and berries, and less processed stuff
• Staying in a positive frame of mind

A few things I have learned about myself in the short span of a week: 

• Social media (mostly politics and hate) nearly instantaneously puts me in a bad mood.
• I actually CAN keep my opinions to myself ... Mostly. 
• Support groups hold me back more than they help me. 

A few things I want to do this week: 

• Try some new recipes
• Go outside
• Continue decluttering my digital and physical spaces 

I think that's enough for now. Have a wonderful week! ❤💋

Day One of Something

 

I had zero idea what jellyfish would have to do with this post, other than it was one of the most mesmerizing displays at the Toledo Zoo Aquarium, and I'm totally in love with the movie, Seven Pounds ... That and it's a pretty amazing picture, given the equipment.  I didn't have any clue, until I googled "Jellyfish Spirit Animal," and found this: 

"Jellyfish symbolizes energetic flow, entanglement, and Reiki.

Jellyfish don’t need to force anything. Water currents take them exactly where they need to be. They live a life of complete trust and surrender."

Which just goes to show, I got what I was thinking about, because I was thinking about how this time, becoming the best me, it's all about NOT forcing things, NOT overthinking it, and absolutely just letting go, and letting it happen.  

I have already let go of a tremendous amount of physical and digital detritus that was weighing down my brain cell for decades. Part of that purge included a blog I kept during my last keto journey, from 2017 to early 2020, before COVID took over. 

I'm just done holding on to the past. I'm done with it. It served its purpose, and now it's gone. All we have is here, right here, right this second, right now. I'm not preaching about living life to its fullest, I'm just saying, truthfully, life is far too short to willing stay chained to that which is never going to serve you. 

Anywhoooo, today marks the first day of whatever may come. The last time, there were charts, graphs, and daily, sometimes hourly obsessions with tracking, weighing, measuring, blah-blah-blah-blahbity-blah ... and essentially painting myself into an informationally overloaded corner, where I just gave up.  

Giving up isn't necessarily the bad thing people might make it out to be. Sometimes, you really do have to take a step or 10 back, and examine things for a brief moment, and realize that it's not working, so you can move on to something that will work, or at least things that will make you happy. 

That all being said, what you see below IS a collection of charts and graphs, also present to mark this as day one. These are NOT going to a regular part of my life. Not daily, and not weekly. Maybe monthly, but maybe not. I don't know. I've been down the tracking macros road. I've been down the charting and plotting path. It didn't work. You know what they say about "Watched pots never boil?" They say it for a reason. IT. IS. TRUE! 

I'm not going to rehash the past. I'm not there. I'm here. Here is this:  

I pretty much gained back everything I lost from Keto v.1. C'est la vie. I'm not gonna lie. I enjoyed a year of living carb-ly. Stuff happens. There's a goal there that is much different from past goals. I'm not going to talk about said goal, unless I've got something positive to say. I've thrown it out there, let the Universe do with it what it will, and either way, I'm going to find things that make me happy, while it all falls into place. 

Then there's this. This was the first day back to keto-ish eating. Yeah, there's half a Gatorade bar on there, and I am well over 20-30 carbs, but EXPONENTIALLY below the carb intake I've been living on, especially for the past few months.  Also, those numbers are not precisely measured. The food is exactly what I had, but the measurements not.  

Here you see macros that I won't be tracking. I know enough about keto, and what I eat to know how to maintain some semblance of a ratio. Take a good look, because you won't see this, except maybe a check in, here or there, but I really doubt that. 

Today also marked the first day back to the gym. We ended our membership last March, when the pandemic was getting into full swing. I'm also NOT going to be tracking daily activity. Nope. Ain't nobody. Got. Time. For ... THAT! I eat, I breathe, I sleep, I snore, I sit on my arse to work, probably 12-15 hours per day, and now, I go gyming. I do have a fitness app (Jefit) which is pretty cool that lets you make your own workouts. I may use that, but it's nothing I'll share out loud.  

I am severely out of shape. I have lost every bit of muscle tone that I developed when we last were going. I am 100% solid fluff. The gym serves numerous purposes, including building strength, getting out of the house at least a couple times a week, restoring health, and circulation, and also keeping depression at bay. Not wanting to rehash the past, but that's something that plagued me for many decades. When I did keto, it went away. Not overnight, but it was gone, and was probably the biggest blessing, by far, of this way of eating.  

Regardless, here, you shall see me, mostly, now ... 

That's me on the right 🤣

I think I'll just leave it there for now. This really is just the placeholder, and point of reference. I'm okay with where I am now, and I'm excited to see where I go.  

Rock on. xo 

Perspective Matters

What do you see? What's more important here? What's right in front of your face or out there on the horizon? 

 

The more you move away from what's right in front of your face, the clearer it all becomes, right?  

I spent too much of my life looking at what was right up in my face. I let it control me. Everyday, though, I'm getting better at taking several steps back and looking at the big picture, looking at what is to come, not what has already happened. Since I've learned how to start letting go, the big picture gets clearer, and more stunning by the day. 

I'm not, by any stretch of anyone's imagination, anywhere close to having perfected it, but I'm light years beyond where I used to be. The thing is, it doesn't matter if you know that. It doesn't matter what you think about what I'm saying. What you think of me is none of my business. What I think of me is what is imperative. 

My forest. My tree. My circus. My monkeys. That's the only thing that determines how the rest of my life is going to unfold. Every day, I practice, and I mess up, and I practice again, and I get better at realizing that I am in control of my reactions, my responses, and my emotions.  

There's some quote out there about how life is 10% reality, and 90% perception. I think that math adds up. You do get what you think about, whether you wanted it or not. The stuff that fills your eyes, your mind, and your being, day in, and day out, really does have an impact. 

As for me, I'm changing the channel.  

All pictures property of me, circa some year between here and 2005. 

The Only Thing I Resolve to Do in 2021

 I learned a long time ago that resolutions are as futile as resistance. It's like painting a picture of all the things you won't ever accomplish. If you want to get stuff done,  you have to believe you can, and then get the f-word out of your own way.  

Therefore, 2021 is all about continuing to get out of my own way. It really does come down to mind over matter. 

Happy New Year!  

2021: The Moment I Jumped Off ...

 

What better way to start off a new collection of days than to sum up what's working, what needs a little help, and what I want to do to create my best reality.  I found this list of "50 Questions to Help You Find Your Best Self," probably somewhere on Pinterest. In the interest of some semblance of brevity, however, I'm going to whittle this down to the most relevant questions I see for ringing in the newest year. 

1. What do I love about my life? 

 All of it. I love my family. I love my husband. I love my kids. I love all the non-human kids, mammals, and aquatic beings alike. I love our home. I love knowing that everything is always working out, and that I have complete control over where I go next, and what I do. 

2. When am I the happiest version of me? 

When I focus on where I want to be instead of where I am. I am happiest when I can be around animals, or just be at home, doing what I want to do, and not letting the outside world dictate my mood. 

3. What do I love doing? 

I love listening to music, and moving. I love watching animals, in person, or via some media. I love making art. I love drawing. I love singing when I think no one is listening. I love being outside when spring arrives, and seeing, feeling, and smelling everything coming back to life. I love laughing. I love seeing, hearing, or reading things that overwhelm me with fascination or joy. 

4. What steps am I taking to reach my goals? 

Believing. Keeping my mind open to all the possibilities, whether I can see them right now, or not. 

5. What makes me upset? 

Mostly myself forgetting that I choose, in every minute of ever day how I respond to the world around me. I get upset that I don't have better control of my focus. 

6. How can I add to my happiness? 

By subtracting negatives. This past year has taught me that turning towards what brings me joy is 10,000 percent more powerful than seeing and hyper-focusing on what is wrong, sad, bad, etc. When I pay attention to the things that make me excited, or happy, or inspired, I feel absolutely amazing. 

7. What are five things I love about myself? 

1. My strength
2. My sense of humor
3. My intelligence
4. My eyes
5. My ability to let things go

8. What are three negative mindsets I need to let go of? 

1. That I can't do something, so I'll just give up
2. The past
3. Focusing too much on the outside world

9. How can I love myself more, daily? 

By knowing that I have the power to create my best life, and no matter what happens, I am in the right place, at the right time, either getting what I want, or learning from my mistakes. By knowing that I am a magnificent being, and worth every ounce of my self appreciation. 

10. What are five things that make me smile?

1. My husband, and my family of assorted animals
2. Elephants
3. Beluga whales
4. A good workout
5. Art, and high fashion

11. What is my number one goal for 2021? 

Getting better at controlling my own energy, and focus. Everything is working out. 

12. If I could be anything at all, what would I be? 

An elephant keeper and artist/designer/photographer

13. If I could travel anywhere, where would I go? 

Kenya, to see my baby Roho, and the other elephants, to Venice, and to Sedona to the vortices. 

14. What are three positive things I should be doing?

1. Recognizing, and appreciating all the perfect things in my life, every day, multiple times a day
2. Learning new things
3. Appreciating myself, for the entirety of my being

15. What are three things I need to do more of? 

1. Moving
2. Traveling
3. Learning

16. What am I grateful for? 

Everything. You may balk at that, but even the negatives are there to show me what I'm doing wrong, and what I would rather be doing. There's not enough digital space to list every single thing.  I think it's best summed up here: 

17. What do I need more of? 

Patience. Breath. Practice. 

Maybe it says more about me in what I chose not to answer? I've spent the majority of this life living in a past that didn't do much of anything for me but get me to this point. Some questions are just kind of repetitive and filler, but most of them are just not relevant to me. 

1. What do I feel like my life is missing and how can I get more of what I need?
2. Where do I want to be in 5 years?
3. Who are the people in my life that make me the happiest?
4. What am I afraid to do?
5. Can I improve on any of my daily habits?
6. Am I doing all that I can to reach my goals?
7. What areas of my life can I improve in?
8. What will I accomplish next year?
9. How can I improve my daily routines?
10. What is one piece of advice I’d give my future self?
11. What can I do to practice more self care throughout the week?
12. What steps can I take to be the most confident version of myself?
13. How can I show others more love and compassion each day?
14. Who makes me the happiest?
15. If I could relive one moment what would it be?
16. If I could time travel where would I go?
17. How would I describe a perfect day?
18. How would I describe my ideal life?
19. What is most important to me?
20. If I would describe myself, what would I say?
21. If my friends were to describe me, what would they say?
22. How can I create more positive habits?
23. What are 3 things I need to stop doing?
24. What’s on my mind right now?
25. What are the top 25 things on my bucket list?
26. Who inspires me the most and why?
27. When was the last time I laughed until I cried?
28. What do I forgive myself for?
29. What am I leaving in the past?
30. What do I want to take with me into the future?
31. What are my top priorities?
32. Is there something I need to change that might be holding me back?
33. What are my goals for next month?

I have filled blogs, and journals, and writings full of the negatives, and my negative perceptions. I've also eliminated them. Given the finite amount of time we have on this planet, why spend anymore time than is absolutely necessary on that which is so painful, negative, hateful, or disgusting? There's no reason to. It solves nothing.  

This is most likely the only day I will wax all philosophical and stuff. Enjoy :)