The time has come to get my shit back together. I'm not good at balance, so instead of trying and failing that again, it's time to get back to what I know will work.
Someone with some guru title once said: Action expresses priorities.
Kind of a no-shitter, but still something it pays to remind oneself occasionally. My Facebook memories reminded me the other day, and it hasn't stopped occupying my brain space.
The last couple years have just been a blur of bullshit, astonishment, heartache, loss, depression, bewilderment, and now pure joy. That's how I got to where I am currently, physically speaking. Ain't nobody got time for focusing on physical aspects when trying to process several tons worth of emotional baggage and a heaping dose of depression and giving up.
Author Unknown
Can't say it better than that picture. All the fingers be pointing in my general direction. I wish I could be one of those persons who cannot eat when they are anxious, nervous, sad, happy, or any of the feels, but I am not. I am the polar opposite.
I deluded myself into thinking I would go back to the gym if I bought a membership. Went once.
I deluded myself further by creating a home gym, complete with an area in which to do exercise DVDs. I used the treadmill once.
I have bought and cancelled more "diet" plans that you can shake a stick at. It's like a tic.
None of it worked because I was already in a downward spiral on my way to exiting stage left. Every day I saw less and less point in sticking it out til the bitter end. Thankfully for me, I'm a coward.
Now that we have all that out of the way, lets zoom into today.
Right here, right now, living where I have always wanted to be since I started forming memories, it's time.
Everything is in place. All it takes now is me.
Actions=Priorities.
There are a few things I will have to do differently this time because I have done some serious damage to the kidneys with years of the high-high-high fat, gross amounts of dairy, and a year-long addiction to Crystal Lite Peach Tea ... but that's a story for another day.
As of today, it's back to water with lemon or lime, maybe some jamaica at some point, and stevia (the liquid varietal). A coffee or half in the morning, and a coffee in the afternoon so I can get my collagen, and other nutrients.
I did meal prep yesterday for the first time in E-ON-S.
Oh, and before I continue, let me tell you this: If you are ever considering that stupid meal service Hungry Root, just save yourself the heartache. I was SO looking forward to it, and all we got was a box of bullshit, mostly warm, and damaged, and without an ounce of care. Thankfully, it had that first-time discount, but still it was a complete waste of time and cash.
Back to now ... I made bacon for salads, one dish of buffalo chicken dip (yes, that one IS high fat, but will not be a regular on the menu .,. ), and got the stuff to make my dairy-free ranch dressing, instead of using processed bullshite. I've got vegetation and meats for dinners, and snackable items.
I'm gonna do it ...
Yeaaaah ... (for my Beloved) :D
So, this is the starting point. As of this morning, I'm dead on 200lbs. No fractions, no nothing, just 200.0.
It's not the WORST I've been, but it's also not where I want to spend the rest of my life either.
I am not tracking food, or macros. I know what I need to do. There may be intermittent fasting, probably in the 14- to 18-hour range. I am not taking measurements. I know how things fit now, and I know what I look like in the mirror. I don't have anything to prove, so I won't be bogging myself or anyone else down with the gory details. Life is for living, not tracking.
I am done putting me on hold for everything else. The stars, planets, and life, in general, are all lined up.
No comments:
Post a Comment