Shitty capture of a SPECTACULAR sunrise
That shoulder pain was a bitch, yesterday, as I probably mentioned yesterday. The pillz, though, they did what they were designed to do, and the pain vanished, and I was in a completely relaxed state of being.
We got motivated midway through the morning to go get shit done. He got a haircut. We went to the store. It was surprisingly calm, and veritably stress-free. Score. We could probably get away with going every two weeks if we did not need deli meats, or produce, but at least we're not filling shopping carts anymore. I think we had two bags, and some assorted pet foods.
I bought a bag of Rold Gold pretzel sticks earlier in the week. I think I went through about half the bag (so, half a pound O.O). I threw them away last night when we went to bed. Done with that, for now. I don't consume that many in a sitting, but it's just an annoyance/irritant to my physical being that I really don't want or need. Killed a candy bar last night.
Time to buckle up, bear down, and get back to work on my person. Not because I feel like I have to meet any external expectations, but because I want to feel better. Also, there's that doctor appointment coming up, and I do NOT want to go in there and still get a diabetic A1C reading. Nope.
After this morning, when I finish the last of the Dr. Pepper Zero Sugar, I'll be back on my normal liquids - coffee, more coffee, and water with Jamaica and Lime or Lemon (and a bit of stevia).
The leftovers from the restaurant did not hold up. That, or our second go at it just lost a bit of the luster. There's some quote out there about reality being like 90% perception and 10% fact ... So, maybe it was still great, but our perception/expectations declined?
After the store, after a lunch of leftovers, I was tired (maybe the sleep aspect of the muscle relaxer kicked in?), so I took a very long winter's nap. Let's just say it was getting dark when I woke up. There were very odd dreams, completely with a fully-horned rhino, some big cats of the speckled and spotted varietals, and weird places/people. Still haven't had any visits (in dreams) from my dad. Maybe it's because it's just the same as it was when he was still alive. Out of sight, out of mind. If they act like I'm not here, they don't have to be bothered, right?
I know that I'm responsible, now, to either maintain, or recreate a relationship with my mom, but I'm not 100% sure why, at this point, it even matters. She was a different person for about five days after he died. Then, by the time the memorial service rolled around, she was the her she is most comfortable being. I know I sound cold-hearted from the outside, but I am not divulging all details here, so that will just have to be what it sounds like it is. I'm not here to plead my case. Just talking a bit about what's on my brain.
One pleasant outcome of the sad events is getting to talk with my daughter more often. That is something I DO want to work on, and will. Yes, it's difficult when we're separated by several very wide states of the union, but it's doable with online mechanisms.
I really took a considerable break from planning/scheduling yesterday. Just was a day of rest. Today, we plan. Today, I'm brainstorming all the things I want to cover in the meeting with my boss this week. He actually scheduled MORE time for us to talk, instead of the original 15-minute block, so that feels kind of good.
Off in a different direction, I read this article yesterday that talks about green burials.
It might be an option. I have often wondered if trees are just reincarnations of past souls ... full of all the beauty and pain that they once experienced as human forms. That, or some karmic justice (the uglier thought process) where it's some form of punishment? Who knows. Either way, it's definitely something to consider.
Back to work stuff, I did none of it yesterday. Today, I'm mapping out my week, finishing up that brain dump on the meeting, and getting ready to get even more done this week than I did last. It gives me something to look forward to - focusing on improving me.
I don't think I've got much more to talk about, so this seems like a good place to pause.
Happy Sunday.
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