No filter, just fire in the sky befitting of the holiday
I've bought the books, I've listened to the podcasts, watched the YouTubes - the human and the AI content, heard the upper-echelon gurus ... and what do I have to show for it? Absolutely NOTHING.
Anytime you set foot on the Internets, you are bombarded with the "influence," the hope of reinvention, the joys of finding your passion and solving all your pain points, no matter where you go because your algorithm is always, always, ALWAYS listening - whether you're on your device or your PC or not. It "knows" you.
But does it? Not really.
It only knows what you tell it - by way of your listening or viewing choices. Don't believe me? Test it out. Have a conversation, especially about a specific thing like home renovation or an appliance, in the presence of a room with a TV or your phone in it. Wait for a few minutes. Pick up your phone, and see what ads start popping up. See what videos start showing up on YouTube.
That's not really the point of my bitch for today, though. It's just how it sent me down a rabbit hole of thinking I needed to "fix" myself instead of wanting to live in a van down by the river.
But, hell, if you want that kind of lifestyle, there are countless others who will sell you that van, too.
You can't win if you only get your insights from the internets, including reading this here blog.
I have decided that I'm going to challenge myself to at least 30 days of avoiding all forms of self-help content - be it the likes of Mel Robbins (and her book I haven't read yet), or YouTubers or Instagram-ers, or anyone else telling me how to make the most of the life I've wasted.
And if 30 days turns into six months, so be it. If six months turns into a year, even better.
At this point in life, I see it as Garbage In, Garbage Out - and so far, nothing I've consumed has improved me, increased my chances of success, or made me the best me I can be. None of it. Sure there are ideas, but when it's all you ingest, it all turns into mush, brain mush, and dare I say, increases the chances of making your depression last longer because you fail at following the advice they spew.
Let them spew. (Thanks, Mel Robbins).
I learned that I don't need digital distractions to survive. Before Seattle, I was spending copious hours wasting my brain cell away on a stupid digital puzzle game. The last time I touched the game was on flight TO. After that, I didn't open it again, except on accident, and then promptly closed it.
I have spent more time focusing on my artistic side ...
Straightened up some clutter, by way of our closet, and my office, and have just spent my digital time consuming arts, educational materials, and a daily dose of humor or bodycam content. You can get more self-help advice watching those, and learning how to NEVER behave in public than you'll ever find in a $1000 course.
I can't fix me by watching videos. I never could. I can only fix ME when I put in the work and get the shit done. And I will only know HOW to fix ME when I myself determine what needs fixing.
This is precisely why I stopped watching the news, and paying any form of attention to politics. These are things I cannot control. Those platforms are designed for the sole purpose of manipulation, and the time-tested "Divide and Conquer." Well, you can't divide me if I don't check in for my daily dose of mindfuck.
Same goes for this, now.
There are not enough hours or days left in my existence to keep trying to impress anyone or measure up to their ridiculous expectations.
We moved here for a reason, and it was NOT to just repeat the existence we had back in Ohio. The time is now to move forward. No more being stuck in the muck.
Happy Independence to Me.
May you find yours, too!
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