So, yeah ... Bullies. I've had my share, back in Jr. High/High School, and then later, in a much more passive-aggressive form. We are normal people. We don't get all gussied up when we go out in public. I guess this leads to others judging us based only on appearance. Like, if we don't fit the mold walking in the door, we're lucky to even get spoken to. We don't look homeless, unhoused, or like we just smoked meth. We're just normal. (To me, at least.)
We went to look at and buy some recliners yesterday because our current chairs are not working for either of us. Salesman A was at the door. I am pretty sure the only reason we caught his attention was because we were looking for a specific chair, and just wanted him to direct us to where it was.
After a five-mile stroll through what seemed to be the entire store, he finally discovered that the actual chair was not in store, but a sectional from the same line was. Short story long, it was just a long-drawn-out process that ended in us walking out. This guy was clearly out of fucks. None left in the fuck bank. Not a fuck to be found anywhere on his person.
Then, we made the extreme mistake of going to a La-Z-Boy store, thinking they might have something better. Christ almighty, if you want to see EXHORBITANTLY OVERPRICED bullshit, just go there. And they didn't have anything resembling what we were looking for, so it was an exercise in futility. But, good to know, since we now know that there's no way in hell we're buying furniture there probably ever. You just don't buy top o' the line room decor when you have animals. Well, we don't. You can do whatever your lil heart desires!
All this to say, there is bullying going on, even in the retail space - of a more mind-gamey nature. This is NOT something you have to tolerate, though. After being completely ignored in the second store, we just bailed. It's like Pretty Woman (only I am not Julia Roberts) ... All I can think is ...
However, a "Karen" I am not, so we just moved on. The right thing happens when it's supposed to.
Beef is mentioned in the title just because it flowed. No other reason. I have no "beefs" to speak of.
On the Bookkeeping front, let it be known that I took off a good year or so from tracking finances in my financial software of choice, Quicken. My bosses (one CPA and the other who worked at Intuit for 25+ years) laugh at me for using it, but I care not. They aren't doing my bookkeeping. I am.
Anywhoo, I decided today was the day to get back to managing our finances in a much more responsible manner. Although we managed to buy one house, and sell another without any form of tracking or recordkeeping on my part, I still feel better knowing that I will have a better sense of where things are going now.
I'm still not done getting it set up to fit our now situation, but I'm close, and then I can focus on making things work in a smooth and efficient manner. No more guessing. I hate managing bills on my phone, or email. Plus taxes will be easier to deal with if I have solid records.
Truth be told, I would probably learn bookkeeping if my current job ever went away. I thought perhaps I wanted to go into accounting a few years back, but I was mistaken. The timing wasn't right, and for whatever reason, my focus couldn't be found, much like the fucks of Salesman A above. I was inflicted with a serious case of Imposter Syndrome that I could not overcome.
However, before I go down that career path, I'll probably be found working on learning the total ins and outs of the current software that my job employs. I need to stay competitive. Need to up my game exponentially.
I also felt a bit of my old creativity simmering to the surface today when I watched some vidyas on personal finance and side hustles. I will probably never do the things I see others do, but it's good to know how those things are done. I watched a fascinating experiment where the woman bought three different vending machines, placed them in three different locations, and tested them for two weeks.
I've never known or seen how much actual work goes into owning or managing vending machines, so it was definitely a learning experience for me. Probably not a good plan for someone of my mental ilk. I would forget that I had them, or forget where I put them, and then forget to fill them, or collect the monies from them. It would be a complete and total mess.
Changing directions completely, moving on to the keto front, I need to just hit the restart button, refresh my mind's browser and do it over.
I think the Ryze experiment coupled with this unknown urge to consume copious amounts of chia pudding with an equally copious amount of freeze dried berries set me mostly all the way back.
It's day two of NO Ryze, and my mind is much clearer, and the sadness has faded exponentially. I have a hard enough time staying motivated, I don't need some magical shroomy substance dialing back my will to do shit even further.
Remembered to take my B12 today. Woot.
Got most of my Vitamin D. Also woot.
Ate the last of my chia pudding for lunch, so now I can lay off the hidden sugary non-sugars that knocked me all the way out of peetosis.
The consumption of chicken, salads, and some vegetables should provide enough fiber to keep me "going." Plus, the chia seeds weren't the culprit. It was the dried fruits. Me, thinking like a non-thinking being, decided that they wouldn't possibly have a fuckton of sugar in them. HAAAAAAAAAAA.
Have I mentioned, I am thoroughly sick of pork rinds, although I have about 20 bags of those things in my "snack drawers" (yes, two drawers, because one drawer wouldn't fit them all). Good thing is, I can't eat copious amounts of them because I start thinking about what I'm eating, and it's all over. Plus, they are very filling given the high protein content.
I know I mentioned the other day about getting exercise. We have scheduled a "tour" of the local Anytime Fitness facility for Tuesday afternoon. I'm ready to get back to a normal schedule when it comes to movement. I'm tired of the sitting prone. Something is going to give, and it's going to be me, giving up my constant SITTING.
I think I've lost all sense of muscle tone in my body, and that needs to change. Even if it requires squats, I will do it. My backside and legs are like floppy noodles (not sure how your butt could be compared to a noodle, but you know ...) I also need to strengthen the arms and back again.
So, a lot of stuff I've been thinking about, and planning, and doing. I'm kind of excited to see what unfolds.
As for today, there was a passing haboob up on the mountain:
Taken by my Beloved. Part of the Catalinas went missing for a bit ...
This little friend was hanging out by the front door. He or she was not as delighted to see us as we were they ...
I think that's all I've got for today. Just sitting on the patio, enjoying the evening winds. It's creating a lovely breeze, and it's not hot. Bonus!
So, I saw this kid doing a beatbox rendition of Seven Nation Army the other day, so now the actual song has been on loop, or not even the whole song, but the opening bars ...
I can't begin to tell you why I like Jack White so much, but I do. I wouldn't say I LOVE him, but I dig his style, and some of his works.
Such as this one:
You can't really go wrong with John C. Reilly. Plus, I just like the style of the song.
ANYWHOOOOO, so, in the style of a White Stripe, I titled today's entry because it feels like I am stagnating, and I need to get around, through, and past it already.
I should NOT be feeling like this HERE. HERE was supposed to be the Magical Land of All Problems Solved.
I fully realize that location doesn't matter because you have to bloom where you're planted, but it just makes it harder when I know I am where I want to be, and yet my feelings are off kilter by a LOT.
And since I have eliminated sugar from my world, I know that's not causing this downward mental trend. As mentioned in my previous post, I suspect the shroom coffee is contributing. Lest anyone confuse my current state of mind with me just trying to make everything about myself, rest assured, I am not.
I am not the same as anyone else. THIS is something I have dealt with for the majority of my life. It has come and gone more times than I can count. It's usually (at least in the last decade or so) been instigated by weather (shitty winters) or food (shitty foods). Genetics may have made me "prone" to experience depression, but I fully realize that other things play a much bigger part.
Regardless of cause, I hate it. I do not want to feel this way, and therefore, the only way to beat it is to attack it head on.
I can't allow it to take over. I will not.
Solutions? I've got a few.
Exercise:
We looked at a local Anytime Fitness yesterday, and it seems like it would be a good option. It's small, it's less than 8 minutes from the house, and fairly mellow, at least at the time we are looking to visit it. Works for me. Probably will sign up for a free week just to get inside and really get a feel for things.
Walking is a viable morning option, and during winter, probably an all-day option. Thus far, I've been a bit too chicken shit of going on my own, due to random javelina and coyote occupants, but I have to get over myself. Since I am awake ungodly early, there's no reason I can't put on my boogie shoes, skeedaddle out the door, and walk about the neighborhood. I have pepper spray and an air horn. I have eyes. I can do this.
Intake:
Eliminate the mushroom cloud. I am starting to think things will turn around pretty quickly once I stop using the Ryze. If it helps you, good for you. It is not helping me. I think it's holding me down, to be frank, and that is not a feeling with which I am comfortable.
Take the B12 and Vitamin D REGULARLY. I get the Vit. D daily in my coffee, but if I don't drink the whole cup, then I'm not getting a full dose. Also, need to get out and sit in the sun for a few more minutes during the day, before it turns hellish.
Mind Work:
Need to stop believing that the mirror is the be-all-end-all when it comes to my value as a human. It's not. It's just not everything, and since it's me that lets ME believe that it means more than it does, it's ME that has to change that way of thinking.
Same with the scale. Just a number. It changes hourly. (Ask me how I know) ... Fuck it.
Currently, I feel foggy.
I need more. I need to feel again. I need to get out and live.
Let me tell you how glorious it is to sit on the back patio, watch the sky turn from night to morning, and listen to the city wake up. The price? I will probably require a nap later today. But then, napping tends to keep this vicious sleep/no-sleep cycle steadfastly in motion.
I'm telling you, I must get this sleep thing in order. It's bordering on driving me batshit. Ever since we got here, I don't think I've slept past 5:30AM more than a handful of times. I'm typically up between 3:30 and 4:00 am, no matter what time I went to sleep, which has also been exponentially earlier than when in Ohellio.
I don't know why it is. New place? I never sleep good in strange places, but this is a new level of strange place because this place is permanent, not a hotel. Our house is fairly soundproof. Seriously, even during the weekend of the 4th, the popping of the fireworks in the area was very muted for the most part. We don't live on or near the busiest streets, so you also don't hear a lot of car traffic, unless they suffer from lack of muffler, or other car-type ailment.
I just don't know what to do. I've tried gummies, which help me sleep just fine, but then I wake up stoned AF. THAT, I do not enjoy. Maybe I go to half or a quarter and see if that helps? I can't take melatonin. It gives me a tremendous burning headache, at least in drops/tincture format. Maybe a melatonin gummy? The same people that make the mushroom coffee we've been ingesting also make a nighttime varietal (Hot Chocolate), but I just don't want to be dependent upon any one substance to get me to sleep and stay asleep like a normal human.
At the ripe young age of 57 years and some days, I am very proud of the fact that I take ZERO pharmaceuticals, ZERO. That might be a lie. I do take the occasional Mobic (anti-inflammatory) if my bones are aching badly (hips, back or legs), but since keto, inflammation lowers exponentially, and I'm good with the occasional acetaminophen.
I fully realize that time, stupid decisions, and age will get to me eventually, but for now, I think I'm holding most of it at bay.
Vision, however, is another story. I currently own two pairs of prescription computer eyeglasses, and some contacts. Last time I went to the eye doctor, for whatever reason, my vision had IMPROVED. Yes. Improved, and that wasn't even during keto. I haven't had the same prescription in both eyes in decades, if ever, but at that visit, I graduated to having the same vision in both eyes. Go me, and whatever the hell I was doing that caused that to happen!
I probably mentioned it last year, but if not, last year, I had a UTI, so my doctor put me on a very strong antibiotic, one for which I can no longer remember the name. Whilst it cured the UTI, it made me so very sick, weak, and unable to ingest or store food that I lost nearly 20 pounds in the course of three or four weeks. It was insane, and NOT the way I would ever recommend to lose weight.
Maybe that concoction had something to do with the vision improvement? I don't know. I also know that keto helped improve my vision, as well. When I first did keto, I thought my eyesight was getting worse because it was getting harder and harder to see out of my then current prescription. ON a whim one day, I put on very old pair of glasses, and discovered I could see perfectly out of them. WTF?
That didn't last, as keto didn't last, however, so that was that.
Anywhoo, I think I am in line for an eye exam, and some new glasses and contacts.
Feel like I'm babbling.
And then there was clarity. So, as mentioned, I have been trying out the Ryze mushroom coffee stuff for probably two weeks now, or a little more. And at this juncture, I think it would probably be best if I just LET IT GO. I can't really name one true benefit of ingesting it, and, truth be told, there may be some negatives.
I am sensitive, especially to foods and substances that alter my moods. At first, it seemed to mellow me out and lower my blood pressure in the face of stressful events. Maybe. Now, I feel nothing. I mean literally, I have no feels. I get the occasional period of riled-upness, but other than that, just blah. Like slow-blink blah ...
If you know me, you know I am not now, nor will I ever be reaching Zen. I have no penchant for Buddhism. I'd rather feel things, even shitty things, than to be zombified. I've been down Antidepressant Trail, and it is NOT a road I will ever go down again. Fuck that.
So, if this fungally-infused concoction is trying to nudge me down a similar path, I say nope.
Because along with the lowered blood pressure and lack of emoting comes the lack to fucks to get anything done. Motivation=Zilch.
There is no thought. No ideas. No creativity. No nothing. Just a void here between my ears. That has to go.
So, yeah.
That's about all I've got for this session, but I've got more thoughts that I need to write separately, so you read this, and I'll write that, and we'll all have fun together.
The northeastern view from the office. I really wish the window was about 2-3 inches longer, or at least sat lower, but I'll take what I can get!
I don't know why, but I'm pretty sure I'm at one of those plateau thingies, and this early on, I must admit, it's a bit discouraging. It makes you feel like "Why even bother?" I know why, of course. Health. I know it's a slow road I'm on, but still, damn. I gave up (probably not the best terminology) a lot of (read: all) the snacking of carbage. I eliminated sugar (except the natural kind found in the berries). I eat twice a day, for the most part. SO, what gives?
Oh, and this was all before we went to "brunch" at a so-called French cafe this past Sunday. I've just been hovering at 192-194.
At the aforementioned cafe, I had a croque because never had one before. A chicken Florentine croque, complete with bread and Bechamel sauce with a side of dry greens. Safe to say that's the last time I will have a croque, at least THERE. I should've just gotten an omelet, but it seemed like all their variations contained garlic, and the thought of garlic and eggs together just made my nose curl.
I ate about half of it. It was a heavy dish. If you've never had Bechamel, I'm going to take a guess that it's nothing more than the "gravy" we use to make "Shit Over Shingles," or as we call it, chipped beef on toast. It's just a basic white gravy. Nothing packed full of flavor. A delivery mechanism, if you will.
So, of course, next day, I woke up hungrier than I have been in several weeks. Carbs. They do that. So, my dumb ass killed a bag of garlic-pepper fried onions (the salad topper kind). That was one of those things I "gave up." NOW, I know why. It made me feel like shit, mentally and physically. I could feel my blood sugar go up.
Then, back to keto.
The weather here seems to be cooling EVER SO SLIGHTLY ... Meaning hovering at 100, instead of 108 or more. Probably just a tease, but it's a welcome one. This was the sunrise yesterday. We were SUPPOSED to have rain and storms for a lot of the day. We got drizzle in the morning, and then NOTHING. Dry as a bone.
FIYAH!
In other news, I don't want to jinx anything, but some things with a certain someone may be on the mend. I'm not going to dwell on the past because it's over. I just want things to move forward and for us to be able to get back to some semblance of the relationship we had in the past before things went south. I know it will take time, so patience is key. I know I mentioned it a lot in past entries over the course of the past year, but I will probably refrain now, as I just want to forget it and proceed.
In keto cooking adventures, remember when I scrambled my keto waffles recently? I was determined to correct the plethora of errors of my ways, and do better.
Definitely a few steps up from what I tried originally. As seen below, it actually LOOKED like a waffle when I was done with it, so there's that.
However, it was also VERY dense, and overly filling, and had a flavor I wasn't necessarily fond of, due to the over-addition (in my opinion) of Greek yogurt, and two too many eggs.
There has GOT to be a happy medium, and I'm now on a mission to find it.
I'm thinking instead of eggs, just use egg whites. Definitely need more almond flour, but maybe a quarter cup, instead of half? This one was kind of powdery/gritty, and since almond flour was the only dry ingredient apart from a bit of baking powder, I'm going to presume it was the culprit.
I'm also thinking sub out the shredded mozz for some cottage cheese, or a blend of cottage and cream cheesities. Also, maybe dial back that two tablespoons of Greek yogurt to half of a tablespoon?
Also, dude must have had a military-grade immersion blender because his batter was smooth. Mine, with my normal human immersion blender, was not. It was clumpy/chunky. And it was DRY AF when I was trying to blend it. I did end up adding a splash or two of half and half just to move things along, but it didn't help with the chunkiness.
It cooked beautifully. Just needs a bit of tweaking in the flavor and consistency departments.
Other than all that, not a lot going on. Kind of in limbo with my brain. Not sure what to do. I'll figure it out, but for the moment, I'm just being.
Gratuitous shot of our row of hummingbird feeders, the Catalinas, and the neighbor's lovely trampoline ...
In a world where we now have at least 10 billion shows, documentaries, movies, shorts, reels, and YouTube videos to watch, it becomes INCREASINGLY difficult to find anything that is worth the life energy it would take to consume it.
So, we end up reverting back to old favorites. We watched Breaking Bad twice, I think. Then, they invented Better Call Saul, which, arguably, was the much better segment of the whole story. If you don't know it, it's the prequel that kind of tied all the BB characters and plots together and made them make much more sense.
My only complaint. Not enough Gus. I strive to be as cool and composed as Gus, and only right at the end did he ever lose that composure. He would be the only reason I would probably ever watch Breaking Bad again.
Never Enough Gus
Other shows that are good, no matter how many times you watch them:
Frasier. Always.
Boston Legal. Also always.
The Black List. Because Raymond Reddington.
The Bear. Possibly the most beautifully filmed and truthful show ever written.
Other than that, I'm just not much for TV anymore. I used to leave it on all day (back in Ohellio) just for noise, but found as a I got older that I prefer the silence.
In other news, sitting at the192-193 range, but can't really tell any difference visually. I did take measurements yesterday, but did NOT write them down. I pretty much measure like a flat board, just a wide one.
In food news, I attempted to make Bedeviled eggs yesterday, but somewhere along the way, something went askew. Probably the use of WAY TOO MUCH smoked paprika? They are now some funky color that is not yellow. The flavor is okay, but yeah, I'll be going back to my personal favorite that I learned from a restaurant in Fort Wayne, Tolon.
They were deviled eggs with white miso, bacon, and sriracha. And they are THE BOMB.
When I make them again, I'll write down the "recipe," and share it.
In news of the Great Office Redecoration, I am nearly I finished assembling my very cheap desk, complete with some kind of fabric drawers. I did not buy it for storage. I got it for desktop space. Plus, when positioned, it will allow me to look OUT the window without having to pivot. I kind of wish the windows were situated just a few inches lower, but I can still see the mountain tops, so it's all good.
The room, and the rug are NOT as narrow as this image would have you believe.
I also finally assembled the automated litter box (as seen in the back left corner). So far, it's 50/50. Maybe it's meant for tiny cats? Bean is not tiny. He does fit in there, but then when he's done with his business, more litter ends up outside on the floor. Not ideal. Not sure how long it will last. It is very quiet though, I'll give it that.
The final touches will be hanging up a picture that we brought from home - an antique print, and there's a small space above the door where I will place this:
Gorgeous here, and even more stunning in person. Plus, it's SELF ADHESIVE, so YAY me!
I wish I could say it was my own idea, but instead, I took inspiration from Caroline Winkler's bedroom in her old apartment. There's a video, but it's been so long ago, that I can't even remember what YEAR I saw it.
The room is NOT big enough to handle that much LOUD, but that paper will add just enough WOW to make my heart happy. Pictures to follow when the entire room is complete.
I'm also thinking that rug might get a new home in the laundry room, and I will get something bigger for the office. It sits at just enough of distance away from the desk as to make it annoying to try to use my desk chair. Not a good working experience. I'll probably go with something thinner, as well, so as to be able to move my desk chair around on it without having to get one of those hidyous plastic mats. Yuck.
I also want to get rid of the printer stand, since I will have enough drawer space in the desk that I no longer need that one. OR, I might just "redecorate" it, but probably not. Better off just finding something different to put in that expanse of bare wall.
In other news, I attempted (ATTEMPTED being the key word) to make keto waffles last night. What I got instead was a scrambled waffle type thing. The second one was a bit more solid, but still ...
Lesson learned. There are recipes for a REASON. Winging it is not always the best course of action.
All in all, though, it tasted better than it looked, but I need to work on it some more :)
Day Whatever of the Ryze Mushroom Experiment, and I have to say it must be doing SOMETHING to my brain because given the topic of yesterday's mindfuck, I really didn't spend as much time overthinking it as I would have previously. Weird.
When I started my job it was because I wanted to. When I stayed at my job, it was because I wanted to. When I went above and beyond for my job, it was also because I wanted to. I never had a job like this, where people listened, and gave a shit about what I thought.
Years have passed. People have changed, and every day, it seems more and more like just a "job." The communication is gone. Clusterfuckiness is at a nearly all-time high, and most days, I have been kind of just going through some motions because it feels like my input isn't wanted or required anymore.
Maybe I'm just being precious and whiny. Who knows? But the dreams took a backseat to bullshit, and now I'm just not sure how I feel.
It doesn't do one bit of good to talk about it, however, so I shall just move on.
The actual saying goes "You can't manage what you don't measure." So I guess I am not managing much at the moment. Still no tape measure readings. Still can't find the old records. All I have are past pictures, and memories.
I think my lowest weigh in during the first round of keto was 169. Then things elsewhere took a shit, and I gave up.
I do have to say there is a noticeable difference in meat quality here, especially the beeves. I don't quite know what it is yet, but maybe it's the dietary intake of the local mass herds of cattle. No real access to grass or hay, so I'm not sure what is being fed to them, but it doesn't result in a terrific outcome. Or maybe it's just the cheapest cuts from wherever else, and it's just shit.
I think we'll be sticking with mostly chicken and turkey. Those things are universally pretty much the same. Plus, we had cut way back on the red meat well before moving, so it's not a huge loss.
We had built up some dream ideal that the food here (in the restaurants) was going to be phenomenal. So far, it's been just like home, or worse. Maybe it's just us adjusting. Maybe it's being to sentimental about what used to be. Maybe it's the altitude. Who the hell knows. All I know is, as I mentioned to my Beloved, I think it's this way to show us that we can eat better at home, and eat healthier.
I was also SO excited to get to go to new stores that I had only heard about on mostly fictional YouTube channels, etc. (Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, etc.) because they're all just within a few miles or less, and thus far, we've been happiest with the Walmart Neighborhood Market that's just up the street. I mean, no, they don't have EVERYTHING we usually get, but enough to survive on.
Anything else, I can get via Amazon, or Whole Foods delivery, then I don't have to fuck around with stupid shit. Fry's here is the equivalent (and a part of) Kroger there. Same ultra-high prices, same shitty store atmosphere. The only thing I get from there is the Chocolate Raspberry Torte coffee.
That's all materialistic bullshit, though, and completely irrelevant to living a happy life. The fact that I can sit at my desk, look out the window, and see this:
Is EVERYTHING. It still doesn't feel quite real, and like it will go away at any second, but it's not because we LIVE here and it is perfect.
The air, the sunshine, the sunsets, and even the storms here just can't be beat.
I've been in a fairly shittastic mood since the big change at work. Totally has tanked my motivation or urge to spend any fucks. I don't like feeling this way. So, in order to get past it, just gotta move through it, take it for what it is, explore my options, and make the most of it all.
There is not enough life left for me to spend all my energy focusing and being pissed at things I cannot control. I'll save my rage for things that actually matter.
Meanwhile, back at the Keto Ranch, weight is hovering around 192.5 to 193.
Peetones still in full to moderate force (pink to dark purple/pink:
And the fact that I don't want to snack my life away means I have more time to think about what I really want to do.
I feel like I'm running out of things to talk about. You know I write this because it's cheaper and more effective than therapy, but I also don't ever talk about EVERYHING out loud. I just need a place where I can say what I think and feel and get it out of my head. Unfortunately, you have to censor yourself, because internets, so I say enough to make ME feel better, and then I move on.
It's been a long time since I first embarked on ketoing - 2017, to be exact.
Since that time, there have been lots of trials, errors, all around fails and some decent recipe victories.
Here were some of the winners over the years:
Zucchini Boats. I can't remember what was in them, but it was keto.
Salad with homemade Ranch and Grilled Chicken Bits (from a bag - do NOT recommend!)
Sausage Alfredo sauce with some brand of shirataki noodles. Not my favorite pasta sub, but it was bearable. The sauce was good. Just browned sausage, alfredo sauce, onions, and parmesan sprinkle cheese.
Taco Bowl. Easy when you're feeling too lazy for complicated.
Caprese Chicken with real mozzarella, and roasted zucchini
NY Strip with sauteed shrooms, butter, and asapargii with a side of ranch for my steak. Don't ask.
It's how I roll.
Keto soft tacos (homemade keto tortillas), and some form of shredded chicken, veggebles, and Queso Fresco cheese, and some sour cream
Keto strawberry crepes.
I don't remember what was in the crepes, but it was keto.
Pretty fucking good.
Winner, winner ... Crepe dinner
It's not hard to dine out on keto, especially at a dineR. There was this place called Metro in Fort Wayne. It was the bomb. Unfortunately, it closed :(
Sausages, bacon, and scrambled egglets. All protein, all filling.
I canNOT recommend store-bought keto or low-carb tortillas. They always make me bloat, and they are just too chewy, even when you char them on the stove. I CAN recommend the filling - shredded slow cooker chicken, sauteed peppers and onions, and a lovely creamy cheese sauce. HELL YEAH.
T-bone and keto-stuffed mushrooms. Definitely a winner!
Grilled zucchini. Always good. Always.
There were some PHENOMENAL losers that I did not get pictures of, such as some keto butter chicken recipe, made from scratch. Horrendous. Couldn't even finish cooking it. Abandoned hope and went out for dinner.
I was off of keto before the whole cottage cheese craze took over, so I have yet to try any of those concoctions, but I probably will.
I also didn't take any shots of the standards, the Buffalo chicken "dip" that I just eat as the main entree, or my sausage/egg casserole, or the keto bagels made with a copious amount of cheese, and almond flour and egg.
So, what am I about to try?
So many, many things:
The new-fangled Accidental Fathead Dough Pizza ...
"Two-ingredient" cheesy bread:
Yes, there's a pattern here. I thoroughly love the Keto Twins because their faces don't lie. They test out multitudes of keto recipes, and they are to thank for that Million Dollar Chicken Florentine Sandwich Recipe that I forgot to put above, but looks SOMETHING like this:
Here are some that I saw recently on the Tube of Yous:
I have never had Boursin cheese, but this looks pretty delightful and something I could put on top of a chaffle. <3
There's also this one from Mayra:
Looks like it would be pretty good for lunches, or dinners. Make a big pan and let it last all week.
This one I did try once, and it was so-so, but I may have to try it again:
Since I now have a metric fuckton of chia seeds, I will definitely be giving this a go, too:
I had tried to make a chia pudding from memory the other day, and let's just say it's more like chia SOUP. The flavor is fine, but I definitely need the guidance of an actual recipe. :) This one looks pretty great!
I think you get the idea. There is a vastness to the amount of keto recipes, and I intend to start exploring them at a more in-depth level.
I remember, faintly, my mom going on and on about how I "always had my nose in a book." That was before getting glasses, and after. But that was her justification for taking me to the eye doctor. I have no recollection of what age that was, except maybe third or fourth grade?
If I can find the picture, I will show you just how very horrendous my first pair of glasses looked. They were hidyiz.
I feel like this is gonna be a babbly one. Grab snacks of your choosing.
So, the rain continues to elude our little corner of heaven. C'est la vie in la desierta. It's been exponentially cooler for the most part of this week, and now it's about to warm up again (HA). Can't wait .... For October and November, just to get these cooler mornings on a more daily basis!
In supplemental news, my Beloved tried this Ryze mushroom stuff that's been swirling about the internets (well, at least since the algorithmic forces caught wind of one or both of us looking at the ads). So, me being curious, I read up on it, and then tested it out yesterday in my morning cuppojo. It wasn't as horrific as I thought it would be, but I ALSO took it upon myself to over-dose, and proceeded to be fairly mellow and tired for most of the day.
This morning, I tried the sample pack of their mushroomy vanilla coffee creamer, and I am very, very, VERY grateful that I tried it before buying it. Ewwww. NOT at all what I want. I'm considering purchasing more for me, and him, but just wish they would allow you to build your OWN bundle, instead of paying for them to send you a bunch of garbage trinkety shit. Just let me buy two bags and give me a discount on THAT. We shall see. Oh, and it is keto friendly, with less than one gram o' carbs, so I feel alright consuming it on that front.
In the world of self image, self esteem, and perception of self, there is nothing about pictures of me now that makes me feel good. I'm 57, my hair is very thinning, I look very round on film (especially the new garage door camera view), and I just want to hide in my shell.
Looking at myself from inside my skull, I don't get the full picture, so I can delude myself that I don't look THAT bad, but pictures, mirrors, and video tell my brain a different story.
So, since this is the most bearable, this will serve as my before shot, since it was taken out at the Mission, well before I started the keto thang:
I think the first time I started keto, I also had short hair, so by the time I hit my goals, my hair, what there is of it should be exponentially longer. I am playing the long game. It's how I roll.
As we can observe, most of my weight lives north of my thighs. Yay. Apple shape, I think The Guru Theys call it?
I did go through a period when my legs were embarking on some sort of edema journey, or just fat/swollen with a dose of canklage going on. I believe that was right before being diagnosed with the Beetus.
Since those days, my ankles and calves have returned to normal.
I guess my perception, upon seeing myself in pictures, is old chubby lady. Whatever. I am what I am, and I just have to put that out of my head whenever I leave the house. What anyone else perceives me to be is NONE of my business.
I do look forward to getting back to this, though:
A little less APPLE-y, and also in Arizona in '18
I am really thinking about what I need to do in order to be successful again. I think I deleted most of my records from then, which is unfortunate, but I know I made a lot of food in advance, so there was always an option. I know you CANNOT just wing it when doing keto because that's when the carbage creeps back in.
I also know that I have to be more careful this time around, and not play fast and loose with the "High Fat" intake. My kidneys are no longer up to that task, especially since the gall bladder has exited stage left. I probably should start taking the ox bile supplements again, and lay off the MCT oil because that always seems to trigger the pains, typically in the left one.
I don't know if I mentioned my bout with stones and surgery (of the botched) varietal, and stents earlier this year, but let me tell you, it SUCKED. I'm usually good at handling pain and discomfort, so when I end up at the clinic, you know it must be pretty excruciating. If you think getting a gyno exam is uncomortable, try getting stent removal. Possibly the most humiliating medical procedure of my lifetime. YUCK!
Anywhoooooooooooooo, there will be much meal planning and prepping, probably weekly, for the unforeseaable future. Meats, salads, veggebles, snacks, etc.
I was thinking last night that this is what sucks, but what is excellent about keto - you are so NOT HUNGRY and NOT interested in food at ALL, which means you have zero interest in snacking, and less interest in cooking and making full blown meals. Blessing? Curse? Just depends on the day.
Fun fact: Did you know that Lima, Ohio is considered the Pork Rind Capitol of the world?
Neither did I until I moved across the country, ordered a selection of snacks from PorkRinds.com, and then read the bag when it got here, and it said they were based in Lima. Which, at that point, my Beloved googled and found that interesting factoid.
Wacky!
So, I was going to talk about horror movies, recurring nightmares, and aging out of them gracefully, but I feel like I've babbled on too long as it is, so that's a post for another day, as I have LOTS of thoughts and memories to share on the topic.
Today will be spent working on my office some more, and maybe rearranging the kitchen cabinet setup (the items INSIDE, not the cabinets themselves).
There you have it. Five pounds in two weeks, (I think) ...
Measurements: No clue. New tape measure is still in packaging, and has moved from kitchen to bathroom drawer. We'll see if it makes any further moves this week.
For the most part, all intentionally consumed sugar is gone. I'm sure there's added sugar in some of the sauces, but for the most part, gone.
Still get mild headaches, maybe every other day now, but that could be from needing new glasses, or stress, so not going to call it a keto symptom.
According to the peetone strip, I'm in full-on fat-burning mode (ketosis), sitting at anywhere from 3.0 to 6.0 depending on the time of day.
I have to remember to check my blood sugar in the morning, and then again before lunch to see if it's improving. Last I checked, it was 126, and that was after consuming something, so maybe it's lower, and back down in pre-diabetic ranges? Time will tell.
Mostly dined on salads, homemade ranch dressing, and assorted meat things this week. I know that when I eat a copious amount of fresh veggebles, the BLOAT doth kick the fuck in. It's almost miserable. We make what we call "turkey and veggebles," consisting of oven-roasted zukes, yellow squash, onions, and peppers, fry up some ground turkey, add a sauce, throw it all together in a bowl and call it a meal.
I achieved some chia seeds, and such because I saw a recipe for some format of cloud bread using ground seeds. We'll see if I get motivated enough to do it.
Kind of just in headache mode at the moment, and although it is Saturday, I don't feel the urge to get much done. I DO have to work on my office at some point. I'm tired of the clutter, and it's not going to de-clutter itself.
Oh, and those scales? Ffffffffffffffffffffffuck that. I took the new digital one back. What a joke. Now left with the manual, which will be main source of data from here on. Done messing around with trying to figure it all out. It is what it is.
IN other news, I have no plausible explanation for why Lalo Salamanca popped in my head yesterday, but there was one scene where he's hiding in a culvert, and he says, "Sneaky, sneaky Chicken Man ..." and to date, there are ZERO clips of this scene, and I don't know why, and if I ever find it, I might be the first to make it.
For some reason, when watching fiction, I always lean towards the villain side. Mainly because main character/heroes are unreasonably displayed as flawless, and perfect specimens of humanity (in my mind) and villains just have no time for all that.
And if the villain is cucumber cool, but also funny? Puh-lease. Count me in.
Then, there might be the most perfectly flowing Spanish name ever ... Lallllloooo, Sallllllllamannnnn-KA. It just rolls right out the mouth.
Anywhooo, you can find him in later seasons of Breaking Bad, and then as a more main component of Better Call Saul, which I believe is much better than BB, because there's no whiny Jesse, or Walter, for that matter, and it's just a better-written story.
We have started walking Odin, and twice now, Nettie. Odin is in "training," with his collar, and it was really put the test yesterday. I had taken Nettie out, but given her state, she just can't go that far anymore, so I took her back home. Whilst I was doing that, my Beloved continued down the street with Odin, and encountered some larger sheep dog that was allowed to barge out its door and bellow at him. Apparently, though his feathers were ruffled, and he was a bit startled/scared, he did not react in a negative manner.
Before THAT, and before I rounded the corner with Nettie, I saw our first COYOTE crossing the street and heading into the wash. Odin didn't react to that either.
Then, once they were way down the street, my Beloved found another coyote following them, at a distance, so he turned around and scared it off.
THEN then, I had started walking again, sans Nettie, and encountered them on another street, and there was a third (or maybe that second one) in the wash. My Beloved said it came DOWN from a tree, and at first he didn't know what he would be encountering.
Here is the suspect. It was very small, probably not a lot bigger than Odin, though probably a bit taller. It was unphased by our presence, and was just doing as the coyotes do ... probably looking for water, which is very scarce. It was very mellow, and minding its' business.
We need to start at least carrying the pepper spray or the air horns in case we should encounter more than one. Lesson learned.
I was sitting here having deep thoughts, marveling at how it can storm ALL around the city, but seems to just dissipate when it comes to our corner of the valley. I can see the mountains. I can SEE Sabino Canyon from our street, very clearly, but it's some 9-10 miles away:
So, map says half an hour to go 9.6 miles? It's weird to my brain. The time-space continuum here is very warped. In Ohio, it would take, say, 3-4 minutes to go less than 5 miles into town.
OF course, you have to account for the Maps assuming that everyone drives 55mph in the country, but still ... Apparently, they also assume that everyone gets stuck at ALL traffic lights, and there is no flow.
We're also some 20+ miles from Marana, and yet, it just doesn't seem that far away.
What really tripped me out was how absolutely wrong I was about where my grandparents used to live. It's almost on the west side, very close to I-10, and much closer to downtown - a place we never went when we visited in my childhood.
It's just all an adjustment. Yet, so very happy that it's so easy to get around here, and if you get lost, just look for your mountains, and drive in the direction. They are all very distinguishable, so it's cake.
All in all, I just absolutely love it here, and I never plan on leaving.
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