Color me tired. Very tired. I probably would have slept longer, but you know ... if there's a cat puking somewhere, you're going to hear it, and wonder precisely where it's happening and then calculate the odds that you're going to step in said puke when you exit the bed.
Healthwise, doing okay. When I eat junk, the sugar goes up. When I don't eat junk, it goes down. Yesterday, it was at 87. Not too shabby. Not doing 100% keto at the moment. Cutting back on the fats and calories a bit in the interest of I don't know what - I guess just to see what happens.
I'm just very disheartened with the internets at the moment. Constant bombardment (my own fault for training the algorithms) of new makeup and things to take care of perceived flaws, but none of it is ever 100% "As shown online." I'm not talking about the really bottom-o-the-barrel garbage either.
It's just, at some point, I'm going to have to accept the fact that I am how old I am, and since I am not keen on plastic surgery, or other procedures, I will look however I look. I can deceive myself long enough, in the bathroom, or other mirrors in house, to get out the door. I just don't have the heart to keep fooling myself that this or that will take me back 30 years. It won't. None of it will.
After much thought about health and dietary intake, I've also realized that I'm never going to find the answers "online." I know what I don't want, so I just have to do the things that will get me to where I do want to be. However, I'm also going to be happy along the way, and if it takes the rest of my time on this planet, then so be it.
I had some big epiphany yesterday about algorithms and law of attraction ... As in, you really do get what you think about and what you continually look at. Take the YouTube feed ... Stuff will pop in, I'll watch it for a while, and then, if I stop watching for a minute, and watch something different, the other stuff will disappear. The marketing people really took the law of attraction thing to heart and ran with it. No matter where you go, it will follow you.
If I watch makeup tutorials (why? I can't do those), I see more makeup tutorials. If I watch some guy talk about stoicism, then every fucking stoic in the known current universe will show up. If I watch one more 20- or 30-something woman with a daily vlog out in nature, in a quaint little cabin in a lovely wooded area, I think I'll vomit. They're very soothing videos to just listen to, however. It's a good thing that machines can keep up with my trains of thought because they are many and furiously fast.
The work this week has been exponentially increasing. Every time I think I'm getting caught up, nope. Calendaring helps, but damn ... There's only so much space in a given day. I maybe knocked out two-thirds of my list yesterday, so the other third to half became today's workload. I logged in this morning, and there's at least another third to add to the list.
I'm doing my best to not let it stress me out. Stress is the cursor and pre-cursor to failing health. Fuck that.
In other news, going to map out all the things we want to do to the house in order to get it ready for someone else to make a life in. There's a PHENOMENAL amount of potential here, just as there was when we moved in. There is land. There is space. There is storage space. There is hardcore solid-ness to the house itself. I will not be rushed at this. I want to feel good about it when we pack up the final box and drive away.
Furthermore, dare I say I believe we have finally won the Battle of the Bulging Meece. No traps have been set off; no visible signs of their existence have been seen. The Bean is back to normal and no longer obsessed with assorted corners or doors.
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