Cranberries, Doors, and the Power of Negative Thoughts

Just a random cloud last night that I filtered the fuckity fuck out of because it was that kind of day. 

I can't remember where, the other day, but I heard this: 

So, then, the algorithmic gods decided I was in the mood for this: 

And MY GOD, they were not wrong, and I am NOT mad. LOOK at that color!!! IT IS STUNNING!!! That is the color of happy in my heart. It is perfection. In other news, I may attempt to make this if I ever sign back up for the NYT so I can achieve the recipe. 

This is our new friend, Nipsy. Aptly named because of the fact that it appears he is missing a bit of his tail. We can't decide if this happened by nature, or by HVAC unit, as Odin was chasing a leezard around such unit the other day. No idea if it was the same one, but you know ... Assumptions were made. 

So, let's start the discussion on the power of less-than-positive thinking, shall we? 

Above, you see an overhead shot of our backyard, as seen when we first laid eyes on the house. You will notice that I drew some green lines on it to mark the areas that we are looking to get refinished. I won't share why, but the first go around was a complete failure, and seems to start the snowball of negativity every time we dare to speak of it. 

Let's just say lessons were learned that won't soon be unlearned. 

So, we want to have the entire space completely REDONE. No repairing, no saving what's here, just wipe it clean and start over. I don't know what else to say to make that more clear to contractors. They don't seem to understand that we are not happy with what's here now, which is NOT in that picture. It's more like this: 

Whilst it was a vast improvement over the original version, that lasted for all of maybe a couple days. It's now covered in weeds, but hey, we had SIX ROLLS of weed barrier left over when they were done ... and supposedly they had bought enough turf to cover at least 50 percent of the yard space, but what you see here, plus what's on the side out of view, plus a few small swatches is all that actually existed. 

The gravel idea is my fault. The installation, the first contractor's fault. It now sits anywhere from 3 to 6 inches ABOVE the paver areas. It's, for all intents and purposii, FUCKED. The gravel goes everywhere, in the turf, all over the pavers ... EVERYWHERE. 

There will be no repercussions, though, because what was supposed to be a "less than a week" project took nearly a month, and we just wanted them gone, so we said what we had to say to get them gone, and decided to live with it for a minute. 

SO, yeah, since it pisses us off to look at it every day, we decided to get quotes to get it completely redone. But here's what I don't understand. You have a consultation. You ask them questions like: 

1. Do you have actual landscape designers on your team. 

    "Yeah, yeah ... We have a design team!" 

2. Can you reset the wall (seen behind the dogs) to be level (as currently, the three-stone-high creation sinks down to two stones in the middle). 

    "Yeah, definitely. We can fix that, no problem." 

3. Can we see actual designs, layouts, etc. 

    "Absolutely!" 

4. We want very little to NO gravel. 

    "Great, we'll just move it out." 

However, this person's life is just a fantasy, because the reality is we got this: 

1. Design team of one - their receptionist trying to create plans on ChatGPT. 

2. Their first quote included NOTHING about fixing the wall

3. We receive ZERO layouts, blueprints, designs. We got random images of pieces/parts of the yard, but no overall visual. Her response: "I'll see what I can do." 

4. Wait till you see the final overhead visual ... There is MORE than just a little to NO gravel ... 

At this point, I'm over it and will find a designer, or design it myself, and then get a contractor who can install it. I do not comprehend ... I don't know how we could have made it any clearer. 

There were no notes taken. It took over five days to get the initial quote which ignored everything we asked for. I'm just done. Everything will work out eventually, but for now, today, I am just done. 

Because that was only half of the problem ... 

We also got a new front door. Not once, but TWICE. The first time, the installer opened the carton and discovered several areas where it was damaged, and paint was chipped off. Clearly, they didn't bother to let it dry all the way before packaging. That took some six weeks off our lifespan. Then, they had to re-order, adding another six weeks or so ... and yesterday, once he had everything "installed," he realized they sent the wrong frame so it would not shut properly. 

It's temporarily installed and sealed, but they either need to be fixing it THIS WEEK, or I'm going to scrap it and go somewhere else. I mean, WHAT the HOLY FUCK? 

I love the actual door, but all the fuckery surrounding it is not boding well for its longevity. So far, we're batting 50/100 with contractors and jobs. Something has got to give, and it shouldn't keep being ME (US) giving DEARLY and getting nothing back. 

It's making me nauseous. 

Because the stress, and the pressure, and the negativity snowballs, and it just keeps growing, and growing, and it's just enough. 

I just want to be happy. Therefore, it's up to me to MAKE me happy, and that means NOT letting all this extraneous bullshit slap me in the face constantly. 

Okay, now that I've gotten THAT out of my system, totally went off the rails yesterday and got a Strawberry Cheesecake shake from Sonic, and it was definitively a mistake. Not even worth the calories, sugars, or carbs. On the bright side, we achieved more bags of Sonic ice, so all is right again. 

Yesterday was just a weird day, and I am hoping to ensure that today does not follow suit. I have to work out the door situation, but it is NOT going to rule the entire day. I'll just be here working, and thinking, and planning, and moving forward. 

And planning on when I can make that cranberry tart thingy. 

At least I ended the day with this beautiful scene from The Beef ... 

I know nothing of her other work, but Olivia Colman knocked this role OUT OF THE PARK. Her sense of peace and presence of mind are the calm in the middle of a storm. This scene makes you know that every little thing is gonna be alright and it all works out. 

Happy Thursday!