Going A Little Bit South of Nuts

 

Just absolutely nuts! 

I don't know where I thought pecans grew, but apparently, this is one version of a pecan farm. South of Tucson, down by Sahuarita, I noticed this on the plane coming home from Seattle. Apparently, it's been there a while, as noted by Tucson.com. 

Last night's sunset, heavily filtered for dramatic effect

So much is going on. So much that I won't speak about in detail. So much work stuff, child stuff, family stuff. Health stuff. It's just quite a lot for me, and mostly for my beloved. I feel helpless. This is NOT me seeking attention or pity, either. This is just me trying to explain the situation currently without verbal vomit. 

See also, I HATE having to disclaim that what I'm talking about isn't "Making it all about me," or being "Selfish." Those tend to be the side effects of manipulation and gaslighting over decades. It makes you feel like you don't deserve to speak, especially without providing a warning or explanation first. 

Maybe that will be the last time I apologize for having words. We shall see. 

The only thing that popped in my head at this moment is this: 

Hold Your Head Up - seems fitting.  

"And if they stare

Just let them burn their eyes on you moving

And if they shout

Don't let it change a thing that you're doing"

 The internets can be an amazing place. I would never have been able to tell you who sung that song without looking it up. My beloved could. He can probably name every member, what their best album was, where they hailed from, etc. He's a walking encyclopedia of musical knowledge. A force to be reckoned with. Me, not so much. 

Anywayyyyyyyyy, as I mentioned yesterday, I need some professional (well, medical, at least) help in figuring out what ails me. So, I actually got an appointment, and I go this afternoon. Woot. 

Let us see what happens, shall we? 

In other news, the quail populii have figured out that we serve breakfast, and dinner here at the Waltenburg Abode. 

My photography - like one of those armed robbery store video footage shots ... This is the suspect in question. The male of the species. He's been scoping out the scene for at least a week. And this morning, he was joined by what I suspect to be an adolescent quail. Same plumage, but an uncolored, but very FLUFFY cranium, much like you see on baby birds of other ilks. When I looked up the females, their head dress is much smoother and more organized. 

It's gonna be a hot one today, again. Shocking, I know! I don't know if there will be rain this week or not, but more storms keep popping up on the radar in the surrounding states, oceans and countries, so there's a chance. And there are clouds today, so maybe those will help keep things a bit more bearable. 

I am working on acclimating. So far, I think I'm doing pretty good. Last year, was a complete climatory shock. 109 was unbearable. Yesterday, at 105, it was okay to sit outside for a bit. NOT in direct sun, of course. That shit gets UNwieldy at 7am. I move in the shade, as much as possible. 

As for work, there's a lot I could discuss, but I won't - because mostly what I've learned is that if we want things to change, we're going to have to do the change ourselves, and ask forgiveness, not permission. Not going to fib, it's been a bit draining and stressful. 

Most of this I wrote yesterday. Can't begin to tell you what my point in writing was - I guess just to babble incessantly until I figured it out? 

Later the next day, I still have no clue. 

As for today, making progress on the health front. Had my first appointment yesterday with a new provider. It's too soon to tell, but I think I will really like working with her. Had bloodwork drawn today - normal human, and then hormonal panels. Have to wait a week-plus for those results. Then, maybe, I can get to work on fixing what I should've fixed over a decade ago, and maybe see some semblance of normalcy, at least for a few years or more, until I'm too old to give a fuque anymore. 

I don't know what else to talk about for the moment, but I'm sure I'll have more to say tomorrow. 

Carry on then. 

Tonight's sunset - not filtered at all because just look at it!