Palate (Brain) Cleansing 101

I don't even know where to begin. Totally off topic from the rest of the week's mental meanderings, but let's talk about food for a minute. 

Let's talk about why I don't know what the fuck to do anymore to get healthy, at least when it comes to food consumptions. 

Clearly, I eat. My fluff suit won't let me hide that factoid, but ENJOY eating? Not much. 

I don't know if it's aging. I don't know if it was caused by pharmaceuticals that made me so sick that I couldn't eat - and made everything taste weird. I don't know if when I did keto full time, it somehow rearranged my hunger/craving cues. I don't know if it's full-blown menopause. I have zero clue. 

I go through periods of liking things, but then boredom sets in. 

I'm also losing interest in snacks. Shocker, I know. I used to be able to survive on snacks alone. Once the kids moved out, and my beloved was still driving OTR full time, I was far too lazy just to cook for me, and YouTube meal-prep videos weren't really a thing yet. 

Then, you get all in your head about what's good, what's not good, what's healthy, what's toxic, and by the time it's said and done, you don't know what the fuck to consume. 

I'm currently on this kick with Greek yogurt, sugar-free Speculoos cookies, and Speculoos sugar-free crunchy cookie butter. That's my breakfast. Most days. I need to just stop with that habit, though, as it's stupid expensive. I did find a recipe for the cookies, though, so I could TECHNICALLY make the cookies myself. However, we know me. I won't do it. 

I'm lost my ability to enjoy meats, so mostly end up eating some format of chicken - and mostly either those Realgood chicken nuggets (low carb varietal), or Walmart has this Fajita-seasoned rotisserie chicken (as seen in the above salad). 

I've just lost the urge and joy to cook things. I've lost the urge and joy to eat restaurant food. And let me tell you, the exorbitant cost of eating decent food here in Arizona is NOT worth it. We're kind of feeling like aliens here. We somehow did not get access to the Kool-Aid that the long-time residents have consumed that makes the food here exceptional. To us, it's been lackluster, at best, and we've found all of one or two establishments (in a place with HUNDREDS of restaurants) that have brought us complete dining joy. 

The only reason we go out now is just to get out of the house and spend time together. 

I no longer find any worth in eating fast food, and we have done just that, especially when we first moved in, and weren't set up to cook yet. Nothing tasted right. Nothing tasted good. Maybe that's a mental change, and moving away from eating complete garbage? I'm not mad about it. Not at all. But damn, what gives? 

I eat my salad almost daily, for lunch, OR I might make avocado toast, with some of that Dave's Good Seed bread, which is actually pretty good. Depends on the mood, and whether I have enough lettuce cut up. 

Also, given the oncoming heat (flambee) wave for the next few months, we really don't feel the urge to eat a lot of anything, especially cooked. The house gets the hottest around dinner time and doesn't let up until well after dark. Good job me, picking a house that sits in and east/west position, so the full force of the Arizona sun hits the back of the house all afternoon. Yay, indeed. 

I just don't know. What. To. Eat. I don't know what's enough. I don't know what's not enough. 

I think I'm just in Fuquitol mode at the moment. Not eating like COMPLETE shite, but also not probably eating the best I could for "optimal health" blahbity blah. 

So, do I do keto again? Do I go for a GLP? If so, which one? If two is better than one, I'd be leaning towards Mounjaro. But if THREE is better than two, maybe I'd be wise to wait until Retatrutide hits the market legally? From my limited scientific understanding, it seems that Retatrutide would serve my overall health and well being the best - alleviating inflammation, and whatever else it does, while also helping alleviate me of the fluff suit - what more could a human want? 

I don't know. This is all stuff that's been filling my brain cavity, as of late. DO it naturally, through dietary intake and exercise; do it chemically, via the pharmaceutical route; do nothing at all, and just live with the me I am now, and hope for the best? None of those options scream YES. 

There is also the me who spent well over a decade fearing HRT, which come to find out, I SHOULD probably have been doing all along, but now doesn't know if it's too late to start it or not. Maybe THAT would be the thing I work on first, and maybe then, the other stuff would fall in place? 

See, combine all this with the stuff that's going on with other people (read: real life), and it's a recipe for WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK? 

I don't know where to start. I don't know where to finish. I just do NOT know. 

So, I guess I'm off to make an appointment with our new primary care doctor and then go see what there is to see. 

So, also, I guess we'll SEE what happens. 

That's enough for now. I don't even know if this had a point or if it was just a brain dump.