Knowing is Knowing. Doing is Doing. Believing is Key.

 

I spent a good year learning what I know about keto. Before that, I learned about vegetarianism, and veganism. Before that, there was cutting dairy, and cutting out diet pop. Before that, that lovely Six Week Body Makeover. You get the picture. 

Since then, I've spent most of my time ignoring what I learned, and doing whatever I wanted, regardless of the outcome. That went well ...

I don't regret any of it. All of it helped me know what I do want, and what I don't want. 

What I know: 

• I have triggers. Anxiety is the biggest. 
• I have a predetermined list of things that I use for self-sabotage. Comfort foods, if you like. 
• I must have exercise. A 100% sedentary life is causing my body to randomly revolt. 
• I can do whatever I choose. I can absolutely do whatever I put my mind to. 

What I do: 

• Fluctuate. Mostly daily. Sometimes, hourly. 
• Work a "desk" job. 
• Try, try, and try again. 
• Educate myself. 

What I believe: 

• This too shall pass.
• Everything is fine. 
• Everything is working out. 
• There is value and knowledge in every decision, and its outcome. 

Other things I randomly know about myself, and the world around me include the fact that tracking macros, and food journals are the biggest waste of time I've ever experienced. I tried that level of micromanagement. All it did was make me obsessive, and frustrated. NOT the optimal way of living. Another key factoid about life - excuses and blame are placeholders for the day when you finally decide to be 100% responsible for how your life is playing out. Probably the most basic truth I know is this: if something doesn't feel right, it isn't. 

Things that aren't right for me: 

• Veganism eating
• Carnivore (meat only) eating
• Holding on to upsetting things (fights, words, events) 
• Daily self-comfort-medicating. 

Things that are right for me: 

• Self-appreciation
• Focusing on things that give me joy and satisfaction
• Exercise
• Keeping an open mind to all the possibilities

I am not here to hash, rehash, and generally beat to death my past choices. They were what they were, and now is now. I now know that I create my own reality. I choose what I let in to my headspace. I choose what I put into my chewhole. I choose whether I move or not. Simple. 

I believe in me. 

This is my now.